Waiting For The End
by Luuh2311
Summary: "Something always is going to separate us. It's going to be an illness or an accident"  Bella was sick, Edward never left, but he doesn't know what's going on with his love. Bella's illness will change everyone's lives. NM AU
1. Chapter 1

"_Something is always going to separate us. It's going to be a disease or an accident. As long as I'm human. And the only solution is for you to change me."_

I wasn't feeling well. I was feeling nervous and anxious for the last two days. Since my birthday accident. Alice disappeared, she went with Jazz to Alaska. Emmett and Rose apparently went back to Europe. I didn't get the chance to talk to Esme or Carlisle. And Edward was… cold. I'm not referring to his body temperature. He's been distant, pushing me away.

But today I wasn't just feeling well, not just because of that. I was physically unwell. Maybe I shouldn't go to school. Charlie was already gone to work, and I could skip today. I never skipped anyway. Yeah, I should go back to sleep. Maybe when I wake up I'll be feeling better.

"Bella" I heard Edward call, "Wake up"

"Edward?" I asked groggily

"Why aren't you ready for school?" he asked.

I opened my eyes and he was sanding close to my window. I shouldn't be surprise he wasn't physically close to me. It was like he was avoiding me lately.

"I'm staying home today" I murmured.

"Why?" he asked.

His voice was cold, and there wasn't emotion on it. It was like a punch to my heart. He always spoke with me with a soothing, loving voice. But lately his voice is becoming cold, and today it was sub-zero.

"It doesn't matter" I said not wanting to worry anyone.

"I wanted to talk to you" he said.

I had a bad feeling about this. I took a deep breath and tried to sit up. I did, but my head was spinning.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes" I said nodding ignoring the dizziness.

"Can we talk somewhere else?" he asked frowning.

"Edward, I'm still in my PJ's. Let's talk here" I asked, "Sit"

"I'm fine" he said.

He stayed silent for a couple minutes, staring at me. His eyes were cold but for a second I saw a sparkle of longing.

"Yes, Edward?" I asked not standing the tense silence anymore.

"We're leaving" he simply stated.

"Hm… Why now?" was all I could think.

I knew this was related with his family leaving. His sibling were all gone, because of me, I was sure. Maybe he wanted to leave, so we could spend more time with his family.

"Carlisle is supposed to look ten years older than he looks. People are starting to notice"

"Okay. Give me some time, to find something to say to Charlie…" I was interrupted by him, shaking his head. "When you say 'we'…?" I asked afraid of the answer.

"I mean my family and myself" he said.

What was he saying? He was leaving me? Why? I knew I was separating his family, but he would leave me because of that. No. This has to be about the party.

"What happened with Jazz it's nothing" I said taking a deep breath.

"You're right. It was nothing. Nothing but what I always expected, and nothing compared to what could have happened" he said, "You just don't belong to my world, Bella"

"I belong with you!" I shouted.

"No, you don't"

"I'm coming" I said.

I got up, almost tripping but reached him, and put my arms tightly around his waist. Like I could keep him here just by holding him.

"I don't want you to come" he said trying to pull me away.

I was hyperventilating, I was dizzy, and trying with all I had not throw up.

"You don't want me?" I asked slowly.

The words didn't seem right. I always knew I wasn't enough for him, but to hear him said.

"No"

"If this is about my soul… Take it! I don't want it without you" I said desperate to hear him say he still cared a little for me, for my soul, at least.

"It's not about your soul. You're not good for me" he said.

I pulled away, and looked into his eyes. I looked for something, a sparkle of indecision, anything I could use to make him stay.

"I'm not good enough" I corrected him.

"I'm just sorry I let this go on for so long" he murmured.

I looked at floor. This couldn't be happening. No. He couldn't leave me. My physical sickness was completely forgotten. I could only feel a hollow forming in my chest.

"Please… Don't" I begged.

"Goodbye" he murmured.

He took a step closer but I couldn't stand anymore. My knees couldn't hold me anymore, and I fell. He caught me before I hit the ground, and placed me in bed.

"Bella, say something" he asked putting his hand in my forehead. "You're burning"

"Edward. Please!" I begged again before everything went black.

* * *

><p>"Bella! Please!" I heard Edward say.<p>

I could hear concern, desperation in his voice, and I smiled a little. I was dreaming. Edward is been cold, emotionless. Edward left. I felt cold wind in my face and I shivered. I opened my eyes, and realized I was in Edward's car, with the window open. He stopped the car and less than a minute later he took me from my seat, carrying me bridal style.

"Carlisle" he called.

I looked around and realized we were in the ER.

"Edward, I want to go home. I'm tired" I murmured.

"What happened?" Carlisle said and I realized he just arrived here too.

"She fainted and she's burning in fever!" Edward said.

"Come" Carlisle said. Edward followed him.

"Edward, don't go" I whispered.

"No, I won't go. Just please, stay with me" he said.

"I am. I just want to sleep a little, Edward" I murmured.

I was too tired to keep my eyes open.

"Bella, you have to stay up, okay? You can't sleep" Carlisle asked when Edward put me down on a stretcher.

I nodded but my eyes did the opposite, closing and dragging me to unconsciousness.

"Bella! Please! Look at me!" Edward asked frenetically.

I opened my eyes, just a little and looked at him. He looked so worried. But still was so beautiful. I couldn't believe my luck. And I understood why he would leave. There was nothing in me that could keep him.

"She seems physically okay, just extremely tired" Carlisle told him, "Did you feel anything uncommon lately, Bella?"

"I was feeling sick since last night. My head was hurting and my stomach was uneasy" I said and loked at Edward, "It's just stress. I… I was worried"

"About what?" a nurse that was checking my blood pressure asked.

"You were distant, cold, emotionless with me the last days" I said to Edward and the tears escaped.

"I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me. Please" he begged resting his head in my arm.

"It's okay. You're here, and you're your old self again. That's what matters" I said.

"I need to run some blood tests" Carlisle said giving Edward a pointed look, but Edward didn't seem to move at the mention of blood.

"Carlisle, really, it's okay. I just need some sleep" I said closing my eyes.

"No, Bella" Carlisle said, "You have to stay awake"

"Bella, please, open your eyes for me" Edward asked.

I really wanted to deny them, but I couldn't deny anything that Edward asked with such desperation in his voice. I opened my eyes looked at Edward.

"You can't sleep. If you fainted it can be serious and we can't let you sleep" Carlisle said.

"Honey, I need to put the IV" the nurse said.

I nodded and she took my arm. I squeezed Edward's hand tight when the needle touched my skin.

"I'm going to give her something, to keep her awake. So we need to take her blood for test now, Edward" Carlisle said.

"Go, I'll be okay" I told Edward.

"No, I'll stay" Edward said.

"They won't take long. You don't need to suffer here, go while they take my blood, and come back as soon as possible" I said.

"I won't leave you" he said. "I'll be fine"

"Are you sure?" Carlisle asked.

Edward just nodded. Carlisle told the nurse he would take care of it, so we were alone. Carlisle did everything at vampire speed, probably to not take long, and not torture Edward. Edward was tense the whole time but didn't take his eyes from mine.

"Here, this will keep you awake" Carlisle said injecting something in the IV.

A couple minutes later, I wasn't in such strong need to sleep, but I was still feeling tired. Carlisle left with my blood and Edward stayed beside me holding my hand.

"Don't leave" I asked.

"I'm not going" he said.

"Déjà vu. You said that in Phoenix, in the hospital" I said, "And you almost left today. Why?"

"We can't be around you, Bella. We threaten your life every minute we are with you. You should have a normal human life"

"Who wants a normal human boring life?" I said trying to lighten up but failing miserably. "Don't you see how many times you saved me?"

"I put you in danger. I'm not saving you if I'm the danger" he said.

"Didn't we talk about this before?" I said bemused, "I would have died with Tyler's van, or in Port Angeles… How many times I was in danger and you weren't related! Like today. I would be still in my room, feeling sick, with fever, and probably passed out, alone"

"You wouldn't if I haven't stressed you lately. I'm sorry" he murmured.

"Stop saying you're sorry, and say you won't leave, never" I said.

"Bella, you have to understand…"

"So, you want to leave?" I asked with tears escaping, "It's okay Edward. You can go"

"I don't want to go" he said and dried the tears with his fingers. "I'm just trying to do what's best for you"

"You're the best thing that happened to me. So how leaving me is the best?"

"Okay, let's not argue" he said and kissed my cheek. "You can't be stressed."

"You're overreacting. It must be just a cold, that got worse with stress" I said. "I'm telling you, I just need some sleep. Why can't I?"

"Carlisle is afraid you sleep and…" he didn't continued.

"And what?"

"When someone faints, and stays out for half an hour like you did, without a cause, and with a fever as high as yours… He's afraid you get in coma if you sleep" he said.

"Okay, it's not just you is overreacting" I said rolling my eyes.

"Nothing is overreacting with you. You're the most important thing to me, and I'm reacting enough" he said.

I tried to sat up, but was feeling too tired and he pushed me down.

"What do you need?" he asked.

"A kiss" I said.

He smiled and leaned in and gave me a peck. We stayed there, in silence, just holding hands and listening to my annoying heart beat in the monitor. A nurse came back twenty minutes later. She asked me how I was and I told I was feeling better. She said Carlisle asked us to meet him in his office if I was feeling well enough for it. She and Edward tried to convince me to use a wheel chair, but I denied. Apparently Carlisle had the test results already, and I didn't need the IV, so she took it off. Edward and I walked to Carlisle's office. Edward helped me a little, putting an arm in my waist and practically dragging me.

"Let me carry you" he said half the way there.

"No! It's too embarrassing. I'm not an invalid" I said.

"So stubborn" he said amused.

When we reached the office Carlisle opened the door and motioned us to sit.

"Actually, Edward, I might have to ask you to leave" Carlisle said before sitting down.

"What?" Edward asked confused, "Why?"

"Confidentiality. I wouldn't have to ask, if you were relative. But as you're just her boyfriend, I need you to leave and if Bella chooses she can tell you later"

"Cut the bullshit Carlisle! What is going on?" Edward asked clearly annoyed.

"Is it bad?" I asked cautiously.

Carlisle didn't answer, and I could tell by Edward's frown he was hiding his thoughts too. It was bad. I sighed. What could it be? Did I want Edward to know? No. Maybe he should leave. I would tell him if necessary.

"Edward, you should leave" I murmured looking at my folded hands in my lap.

"What?" he asked sounding hurt.

"I'll tell you later, okay? Just… Let me talk to Carlisle about whatever this is" I said.

"Fine, Bella" he said.

He sounded so hurt, that it was like I betrayed him. He got up and left shutting the dor loudly.

"Edward, please, leave the area. I don't want you to listeny my thoughts" Carlisle said.

I couldn't hear anything, but Carlisle sighed in frustration so I take that Edward's answer was negative.

"Edward, please, give us some privacy" I asked.

After half a minute, Carlisle nodded. I took a deep breath, and motioned him to say something. He extended me papers, and looked like test results.

"Bella, I… I'm sorry, I really am… But the tests are indicating cancer" he said.

I stared at him in shock. I had cancer? I leaned back in the seat and my head started thinking in the consequences this would bring.

"What type?" I asked after a few minutes.

"I can't tell just by a blood test, we would need a few other tests" he said. "There is history in your family?"

I closed my eyes, and tears fell, and I cursed myself for not realizing it sooner.

"My grandaunt. She had leukemia" I murmured.

"It might not be it. It's not a close relative, so there is hope" he said.

"But I still have cancer" I said, "I'll still die, we are just discussing from what exactly"

"Bella, with treatment people live there whole lives" he said getting up and walking to me, "You don't need to worry. I'll make sure you have the best, and this will affect your life minimally" he said and hugged me.

I hugged him back, and cried in his shoulder. When I calmed down he pulled away and sat in the chair beside me.

"So what do we do now?" I asked.

"We need to do some tests. Find out what type it is, how advanced is, and how to proceed the treatment" he said.

"Wouldn't be easier to talk to Alice?" I asked.

"Well, it would be. But this isn't anyone's decision so maybe she won't see anything, and we need the exams to prove you need treatment, you know, formalities"

"Sure" I said.

"And if we ask her, there is the 'telling' situation… Are you going to tell someone?" he asked.

I knew he was talking about Edward and the rest of the family. Should I tell Edward?

"No" I said, "Edward already treats me like I'm made of glass. And I don't want to see pity in people's eyes. If this gets worse, and I need, I'll tell who needs to know. I would really appreciate if we kept this between us, Carlisle"

"Of course. I understand" he said.

"I should leave now, Edward will burst thru this door at any moment" I said.

"Okay, I'll schedule the tests and will let you know"

I nodded and he walked me until the front entrance where Edward suddenly appeared, looking concerned.

"Hey, I'm ready to go" I said.

"What is it?" he asked.

"It's nothing for you to worry, Edward" I said and kissed Carlisle's cheek, "Thanks, Carlisle. See you soon"

"You're more than welcome, Bella" Carlisle said.

I took Edward's arm, trying to drag him out of there, but he kept staring at Carlisle. Probably looking for an answer.

"Edward, please, I want to go home" I said.

"She can sleep?" Edward asked.

"She's perfectly fine to do everything. It was just a virus and we gave her some antibiotics. Actually, here" he said taking a paper from his pocket and extending it to me. "The prescription for the antibiotic" he said.

"Oh, thanks" I said taking it and putting in my pocket.

"Take it when you wake up and before sleep, and if you feel sick or anything, call me" he said.

"Thanks, I will" I said and pulled Edward's arm again, "Come on, please"

He sighed before turning to me, and walking me to the car. We went in silence and he stopped in the drugstore. But before I could get out of the car he stopped me.

"You're not going to tell me? You're going to leave me worrying?" he asked.

"Edward, I'm sorry… It's… It's nothing for you to worry about, okay" I said.

"Then tell me and I'll decide if I should worry about it or not" he said.

Without anything to say, I said the only, most embarrassing thing I could come up with, and knew he would leave it alone.

"It's really private, personal. Hm… Womanly" I said blushing. His eyes grew wide, and he sighed, but looked away, clearly embarrassed. "It got worse because of the stress. That's it. Please, let's not talk about it" I said.

"Sure" he said, "Sorry"

"It's okay" I said still blushing, "I should go in there alone" I said getting out of the car. I turned back, remembering I needed money.

"Sorry, did you bring my wallet?" I asked Edward.

"No" he said but took his wallet, "Here"

He gave me his credit card and told me the code. I felt flattered, I mean, with this card and the code I probably could end the economic problems of a country. A little one, but still… I smiled and went back to the drugstore. I got my antibiotic and got back to the car.

"Thanks" I said closing the door and giving the card back.

"You're welcome" he said. "Sorry I insisted in the… issue."

"It's fine, let's forget it" I said blushing.

He took me back home, and insisted I ate something, since it was past lunch and I hadn't eat anything. I told him I wasn't hungry, just tired. He took a glass of water for me to take the antibiotic, but still didn't ask anything about it anymore. It was the most embarrassing lie I told, but I was glad. And I was glad he didn't hear my mind. I asked him to stay with me while I slept, and he did. I fell asleep in his arms, and dreamt Carlisle would tell me everything was fine and it was a big mistake. But the happy part, beside this, it was that Edward would stay with me forever.


	2. Chapter 2

The following week went better. I got tired easier, but nothing I couldn't blame on the antibiotic. Edward avoided the subject, and I was glad I was embarrassed, for the first time.

Alice and Jazz came back, Rose and Emmett went back to Europe. Esme didn't stop apologizing for even thinking leaving me. I told her it was okay as long as they didn't do that again. Alice was still pissed with Edward, and a little worried with me. She apologized, and told me that if Jazz hadn't agreed and went away, she wasn't going to leave. Jazz barely looked at me, and everyday he apologized. I told him it was fine, I wasn't seriously injured and it was okay.

Carlisle was most of the time at work, but when we met he obviously avoided the subject, and I was glad. He called me Wednesday, while Edward went home to change, that the exams were schedule Friday, and I should be there right after school. Edward was going hunting, so it shouldn't be a problem.

When Friday came I couldn't be more nervous. I almost got late, because I stayed in bed thinking in the possibilities, the consequences, what would I suffer, and how much time I would have.

"Are you okay, love?" Edward asked when I jumped out of the truck in school.

"Yeah, fine" I said.

"Are you sure? If you want I can stay" he said.

I looked in his eyes, they were almost black. He need hunt and I needed him away.

"I'm sure. Just promise you'll come back" I said.

"I promise" he said and leaned in for a peck.

The classes went like this. Edward would ask me if I was okay, and if I wanted him to stay. He said I looked worried and scared. Well, I was. Alice asked if I was okay, and I told her that I was. She said I could go to their house, after work in Newton's, make her and Esme some company while Jazz and Edward went hunting. I told her I should go home, and had some things to do before Charlie came back. I was walking to my truck with Edward, when I heard someone call me. I turned around and Mike was running to catch me.

"Hey, Bella" he said breathless from the run.

"Hi, Mike" I said and glanced at Edward that was glaring at him.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked glancing at Edward.

"Sure" I said stepping away from Edward.

Mike and I walked away from Edward, a few feet, but I knew he would listen.

"Are you okay?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"You seem worried, and you never miss work. Is something wrong?" he asked.

I got more concerned. Edward didn't say anything about me missing work. I didn't tell him, and I hoped he wouldn't find out. Now, he definitely knew.

"Everything is fine, Mike. I'm sorry I have to miss work today" I said.

"It's okay" he said. "We just got worried. You seem distant and when you asked to miss today, my mom thought you might be sick"

"No, I'm fine" I said.

"Okay, see you" he said and walked away.

I waved and walked back to Edward. He stayed silent, barely looking at me. Yeah, I was in trouble. Once we reached my truck, I throw my bag inside and jumped in. Edward didn't say bye, or gave me a kiss. I turned off the engine before I pulled away.

"You're not going to say bye to me?" I asked calmly.

"Alice had a vision that if I said something you might be angry. So I'm avoiding talking" he murmured.

I got out of the truck and faced him.

"Bye?" I asked.

He sighed and glared at me.

"Why aren't you going to work?" he asked.

"I… have things to do" I murmured.

"And why you didn't tell me? Bella, what are you hiding? What's wrong?" he asked desperate.

"I can't tell you Edward" I said.

"I don't believe you" he said, "You can tell me. You don't want to"

"Edward, please" I asked.

"Fine" he said looking away.

"Edward, please, I need a kiss" I said almost crying.

I needed him to reassure me everything would be okay, even if he didn't know what was going on. He looked at me, and his eyes softened when he saw the tears in mine. He hugged me and gave me a soft, tender kiss. I stayed hugged with him for a couple minutes, fighting back the tears, when I finally decided it was time to go. I pulled away and entered the truck. I drove to the hospital slowly, and when I parked I took a deep breath, trying to find courage. I met Carlisle in his office, and he took me to X-rays, MRI, CT, more blood tests…

"I will have the results tomorrow afternoon" he said as we walked to the entrance.

"Okay" I murmured.

"Bella, I will do anything I can, to make sure you're okay" he said.

"I know Carlisle" I said and hugged him, "Thanks"

"Nothing to thank me" he said. I nodded and went home.

I cried an hour before I went sleep.

I woke up when someone was shaking me. I opened my eyes, hoping it was Edward, but it was still night and it was Alice shaking me.

"Alice? What are doing here?" I asked.

"Please, tell me my visions are wrong" she cried.

"What?" I asked sitting up.

"The vision was blurred, but I saw! You're so sick, and Edward was devastated!" she cried and hugged me.

I hugged her tight and cried in her shoulder.

"You can't tell Edward" I mumbled.

"What? You know what's wrong?" she asked pulling away.

I nodded slowly and dried my tears with my sleeves.

"Carlisle thinks is cancer" I said.

"What! No! He's wrong!" she said.

"When I passed out the day Edward was leaving, when Carlisle saw the blood test's results… He says it seems is cancer. I think is leukemia, someone in the family had"

"He can be wrong" Alice murmured.

"Do you ever saw Carlisle make a mistake?" I asked amused.

"We'll make sure you'll be okay" she said.

"Don't tell anyone! Anyone, Alice! Not even Edward!" I begged.

"What? Why? Bella, he needs to know"

"No he doesn't. He already treats me like I'm made of glass. I don't want to spend my time with him, with him babysitting me, worried, and nervous. I swear I'll tell him, and everyone else, if I get sicker. I'm fine now. Carlisle says people can live decades with this, just being careful. I'm being careful. I don't want the others to be careful. I want to live as normal as possible. If I get sicker, when I need help, I'll tell him"

"Fine, Bella. I'll keep your secret. But if I think you're getting sick you will tell, or I will!" she said.

"Fine. Thanks, Alice" I said.

"Everything will be okay" she said and hugged me again.

I cried in her shoulder for a couple hours, until I fell asleep.

I wake up with some moving.

"Edward will be here in a few minutes, go back to sleep" Alice whispered.

"Don't tell" I remembered.

"No, I won't" she said. "See you later"

"Later" I mumbled.

A few minutes later I felt someone caressing my head.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Good morning, love" he said.

I turned around, and he was kneeling beside my bed. We stay quiet for a couple minutes. I moved, so there was space for him. He lay beside me and I rested my head in his chest. What was I going to do? Alice wouldn't tell anything, but I couldn't risk. I needed to tell him first. But I didn't want him to treat me different, and I knew he would.

"You will never change me?" I asked suddenly. He sighed and hugged me tight.

"No, you don't deserve this life" he said.

"I don't deserve you?" I asked.

"I don't deserve you. It would be selfish of me, to end your life for me. You deserve everything, you deserve a life. Grow old, meet people, have children, grandchildren… You deserve much more than I can give you, Bella"

"So, you won't ever change me?" I asked.

"No, I refuse to end your life" he said angrily.

I was pushing the button. I knew one of the reasons why he almost left was because he didn't want to change me. I wouldn't risk that. I wouldn't risk lose him. If I stayed human, sick, and he stayed beside me, than I would be happy. I couldn't live without him, sick or not. And I wasn't going to risk it.

"Don't you want to get up?" he asked.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Almost noon"

"I would like to stay in bed"

"As you wish" he said pulling the blanket for me.

The minutes seemed to pass slowly. I stayed praying that everything would be okay. Edward's cell rang, and he picked up, talking too low and fast for me to understand. He sighed and hung up.

"Apparently Alice needs me for something really important" he said, "It's okay if I go?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure. Go, I'll be fine" I said.

He gave me a peck before jumping out of the window. A couple minutes later my cell rang. Carlisle. It was now or never.

"Hi, Carlisle" I said picking up.

"Hello, Bella. How are you?" he asked.

"Anxious" I said.

"Alice knows" he said.

"I know. She came here and I told her, she won't tell anyone else though"

"I know. She's going to help a lot if you don't want Edward to know."

"Like now? There isn't anything important for him to do, right?" I asked understanding Edward's phone call.

"No. I needed to talk to you about the results"

"Okay" I said cautiously.

"Do you want to talk now, or you prefer coming to my office?" he asked.

"Tell me now. Edward don't leave me alone much, and I can't wait another minute"

"Okay" he sighed. "Bella, you were right"

"It's leukemia then" I said fighting the tears.

"Yes" he sighed.

"It's advanced?"

"Not much. It's not in the beginning either" he said.

"Okay. What does that mean?"

"Right now, the only damage is in your immunologic system. You have to be careful, any virus, even a simple cold, can turn into a hell. Like that day, simple stress and the beginning of a cold"

"So, no virus, and no stress" I said.

"Right. I will give you some medication, for precaution, Alice will give it to you"

"Okay. And… That's it?"

"I won't lie to you, Bella. The situation will probably get worse" he said.

"Okay. I thought I would need chemo" I said relieved.

"No. We'll hope you don't need in the future. If you need it it's because it's getting worse" he said.

"Okay. Thanks, Carlisle"

"You're welcome. And I'm sorry"

"It's okay" I said.

"Are you okay? Do you want Alice to come?"

"No, I'm fine. Thanks"

"Okay. Bye"

"Bye" I said and hung up.

I should be happy. Well not happy, but happier. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I lay down, and the only thing my mind got was 'Tell Edward or not?' I knew I had to tell him. I just didn't see the point in telling now. If I told him, he would freak out, and our relationship would be based in concern, all the time. I didn't want that. I would stick with the original plan, if I got worse, when it got worse, I would tell him.

"What is worrying you, love?" he asked from the window.

"You're back" I said.

"I think Alice is insane" he said lying down beside me, "When I got there, she wanted me to help her with Jazz's gift. But his birthday or any special occasion is in months. When I tried to get back, she started screaming at me for being a bad brother"

"Hm, weird" I murmured.

"Aren't you hungry?" he asked.

"No, I made a snack while Alice was here, and I'm still full" I lied.

"Hm. You didn't answer me"

"What?"

"What is getting you so worried?"

"Everything will be fine" I said more to myself.

I hugged him, and spend the rest of the day like that. Thinking all the possibilities.

It's been two months since I knew about the leukemia. Still just me, Alice and Carlisle knew. Edward once saw me taking my medications, and got a little worried, but again, I used the trick of the womanly, personal illness. He dropped it. Alice thought it was a little funny and congratulated me for the best lie. I've been careful. Carlisle came to see me at home, when Edward was hunting, just to check on me.

A few days ago, I got a little worse, and Carlisle wanted me in the hospital. Alice told everyone we were going shopping and took me there. Carlisle needed a spinal cord sample, and I took it, holding Alice's hand. I squeezed her hand so tight, I hurt my own. I hurt a lot. I had to stay in the hospital a couple hours, and Alice brought me home. Apparently she was prepared for things like this, and had shopped before, so all the clothes I 'bought' was in the car.

Edward never showed any suspicion. But since yesterday, my stomach was uneasy. I was going to ask Alice to take me to Carlisle tomorrow, after school. I had a plan, go sleep, wake up, handle school, and go see Carlisle. Of course the moment I entered my room, Edward was there, ruining the plan.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked getting up from the bed.

"Nothing" I said and tried to smile.

"You're pale, and you're sweaty" he said.

"I'll take a shower" I said turning around.

He grabbed my wrist, turning me around, and put his hand on my forehead.

"You have fever" he said, "What's wrong? Are you feeling sick?"

"Edward, I'm fine. You're overreacting. I'm sure I'm just a little hotter, and your cold hand make it seems worse" I said.

"Bella, I'm not overreacting. You're a lot hotter than usual"

"Thank you" I said with a mischievous grin, trying to make the subject drop.

"You know what I mean" he said rolling his eyes. "What are you feeling?"

"I feel like I need a shower" I said.

"Bella, please, let me take care of you. I'll take you to Carlisle"

"No!" I said a little too loud, and desperate. "I'm fine, I promise. I'll take a shower and you'll see I'll be better" I said.

"Fine. Anything, call me" he said concerned.

"Of course! Don't you think it's easier to join me now, than I have to call you later?" I asked playfully.

"You're talking too much with Emmett" he said rolling his eyes.

I went to the bathroom, and closed the door. I took a shower, almost cold, trying to make my temperature drop. I had to be quick, though. I couldn't get a cold. But my stomach went from uneasiness to pain. I get out of the shower, dried myself and put my PJ's. I was brushing my teeth, when my stomach couldn't handle anymore. I fell on the floor, throwing up. A second later, I felt cold hands in my face, holding my hair.

"Charlie" I murmured before throwing up again.

"He's asleep in the couch" Edward said. "Bella, let's go. I'm taking you to Carlisle"

"No" I said.

"Bella, please. Look at you. You're clearly not well, you need a doctor"

"Call Alice, tell her what's happening, tell her to come" I mumbled before throwing up again.

"Bella, Alice can't do anything. Carlisle can. Let me take you to him" he said.

"Edward, please, do what I asked"

He sighed but called her, he talked to her at human speed and hung up.

"She's coming, she'll be here in less than a minute"

"Go away, Edward" I asked crying.

"What?"

"Go away"

"No, I'm going to stay with you"

"Edward, I don't want you to see me like this. Go away, enough for you not to listen Alice's mind" I said.

"Bella, I can't leave you like this"

"Alice will be with me" I said. "Go away"

"No"

"Edward, go away!" I said trying to sound annoyed. "Go find something to do! I want to talk to Alice, and I don't want you prying! Just go away!"

He looked so hurt, it broke my heart. I wanted to punch myself for pushing him away. But I couldn't tell him. When Alice came, she would think or say something, and he couldn't hear. He got up and disappeared. I started crying, and a second later Alice's tiny hands were holding me.

"Shhh, calm down, Bella! Remember, no stress" she said.

"I told him to go away" I mumbled.

"I know. He won't be mad with you. Or hurt. It will be fine" she said.

I started throwing up again, and she pulled my hair back.

"I called Carlisle. He went to the hospital, he will be waiting for us"

"Alice, no. I want to stay here. You can go. I just called you so Edward calmed down. I'll go see Carlisle tomorrow after school"

"No way, Bella. You're going to see Carlisle tonight. Now" she said.

"I can't go. Charlie"

"Charlie is sleeping. Stop making up excuses. You need to go" she said.

"Fine" I said.

She helped me up, and I cleaned up my mouth. I wasn't even going to try brush my teeth, because I knew I would throw up if I did. She picked me up, and I felt ridiculous, being cared for someone smaller than me. I didn't complain though. She could be a lot faster and silent. She put me in the passenger seat of the Volvo.

"I need to buy a car for me" she said.

"Yeah" I mumbled.

She drove fast to the hospital, and I spend the ten minutes ride with my eyes closed. Even like this I almost threw up. She stopped the car, and immediately my door was open.

"Bella, tell me what's wrong" Carlisle said.

Before I opened my eyes, he was carrying me inside.

"What is it with this family, that you're always carrying me? I can walk" I said.

"You look so tired, I thought you couldn't" Carlisle said and put me down on a stretcher. "Okay, tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing. My stomach, it was uneasy and I vomited. Your kids like to overreact!" I said.

"_Was_ uneasy?" he asked with an arched eyebrow. I sighed in defeat.

"It started hurting right before I threw up"

"Okay, I'll have to make some exams" he said taking a IV.

"Carlisle no! I hate IVs!" I cried.

"Sorry, but you seem a little dehydrated" he said and put the needle in my arm.

He took blood, made an ultrasound (I was soo embarrassed when a nurse passed by and congratulated Carlisle saying, 'I didn't know your son was going to have a kid!' – Alice laughed. Bitch). Carlisle wanted to do an endoscopy, but decided to wait for the results. He was thinking the medication might have affected my stomach, and if it was serious we would have to change the treatment. Alice spend the whole time with me. Carlisle said he needed to make a more complex blood exam, so it would take a few hours. So, I passed the night there. Alice stayed beside me the whole time, even when I slept, holding my hand. She was truly my best friend, sister. I wake up in the morning, my stomach was hurting. Alice called the nurse and asked for Carlisle he came and gave me some pain killers.

"Thank you" I said.

"You're welcome. In a couple hours I will have the results" he said.

"School! Charlie!" I said panicked.

"I called Charlie and told him you came to our house in the middle of the night. I told him Alice wasn't okay, and asked for you. We told him you would go to school with them" Carlisle said.

"Oh, and school?" I asked.

"I'll give you a note; you can give to your teachers. But they won't know why you were sick" Carlisle said.

"Edward?"

"He don't stop calling" Alice said, "I told him we were in the hospital, and it was that… womanly problem you told him. He's desperate you should call him"

"Okay" I said.

Carlisle went away, and Alice gave me her cell for me to call him. It barely rang and he already picked up.

"Bella?" he asked.

"And people say you see the future" I said sarcastically to Alice, she grinned. "Hi, Edward"

"How are you? What's wrong? Are you better? Can I go there? Alice told me I couldn't."

"Edward, calm down. I'm fine. Just waiting for some tests' results. I'll be fine, but please don't come" I said.

"Please, tell me what's wrong"

"I'm fine. It's nothing you should worry about" I said.

"You were with fever and throwing up! I don't need to worry?" he asked sarcastically.

"Edward, please"

"Let me talk to her" I heard Esme say.

"Esme will talk to you" Edward murmured.

"Hi, Bella, sweetie. How are you?"

"I'm fine now. Thank you, Esme"

"Listen, I understand that your mom wasn't very present in your life, while growing up. But if you need to talk to a woman, about certain things, know I'm here"

I was blushing a hundred shades of red now. Alice was giggling beside me.

"Hm, it's fine, Esme, thanks" I murmured.

"I know Alice is helping you, but maybe I can talk to you a few things she can't"

"Hm...Thanks" I said still blushing.

"Now, please, tell me. What's wrong? So I can tell Edward it's nothing serious, or he will destroy the house. I never saw him so nervous"

"I can't tell you, I'm sorry" I said.

"Alice says is a womanly problem. If you want I can help you find a gynecologist… I know you won't talk to Carlisle"

"Esme, please. Edward is hearing this, right?" I asked.

I couldn't believe I was able to blush more. If a doctor saw me now, he would think I was burning in fever, I'm sure.

"Oh, honey, don't be embarrassed. Edward understands"

"Okay, thanks, Esme. Bye" I said and hung up.

I throw the cell to Alice and covered my face with my hands. I was never soo embarrassed. And it was over the phone.

"It was a little funny, you have to admit" Alice said laughing.

"Yeah, super funny" I murmured sarcastically.

"The nurse came here before you woke up, to see if you wanted something to eat. Do you?" Alice asked when she stopped laughing.

"No" I said.

"One of the things is making Edward worried, is that you aren't eating enough" she said, "Carlisle says is because of the medication or stress"

"Yeah" I said.

"But you need to eat something" she said.

"Not hungry. If I ate I'll probably vomit, so better not risk it"

"Okay" she gave up.

We started talking about what Rose and Emmett were doing. Alice told me they called last night, they were in Egypt. Emmett said he should pass by Iraq and help a little the soldiers. Esme and Rose spend half an hour, giving a speech about how dumb he was being. Rose wanted to visit Romania, but Esme told them to be careful, apparently there was vampires there. Famous and powerful vampires. Carlisle showed up an hour an a half later, and from his expression it wasn't good.

"It's progressing, right?" I said with tears in my eyes.

"Yes, the cancer is progressing. We have to start chemo as soon as possible" he said.

"There isn't another option? Are you sure of that?" Alice asked hopeful.

"Believe me, Alice. It pains me to say this, but I'm sure" he said.

"How long?" I asked with tears running silently down my cheeks.

"The treatment?" he asked.

"No. How long do I have?" I asked.

"Answer, Carlisle!" Alice said annoyed when he hesitated.

"Without the chemo, I would say a year, a year and a half, top"

"And with chemo?" I asked.

"A couple years, maybe longer" he said. "I'm so sorry, Bella"

"There is nothing you could have done. There is nothing to apologize"

"What do we do now?" Alice asked squeezing my hand.

"If that's okay, I would start chemo today" he said and I nodded, "And hopefully she'll get better. But…"

"What?" I asked.

"You should tell Charlie, Bella. And Edward" he said, "Probably you're going to get worse, and they will notice. It's better if you tell them" he said.

"I'll tell them when I get worse" I said, "I don't want to spend part of the time I have with my loved ones worrying. They will worry when it's time"

"Bella, you need at least tell Charlie" Carlisle said.

"But then Edward will know. No" I said.

"Bella, I have to recommend you to stay out of the school. At least for now. If your immunologic system gets better, you can go back" Carlisle said, "But now, go to school, can ruin the treatment"

"Fine, I drop school" I said.

"And Charlie?" Alice asked.

"I'm 18, I can drop school without his permission"

"Bella, you can't" Alice said.

"Why not?" I asked annoyed.

"Charlie will think it's because of Edward, and he won't let you be with him anymore" Alice said.

"What if I ignore his permissions or prohibitions?"

"I'm sorry, but if you don't tell him exactly what's going on, I see different possible futures, but especially one, and you won't be living with him"

"He would throw me out?" I asked trying to stop the tears.

"I don't know if you left or if he told you to leave, but you won't be living with him" Alice said.

"Give me a month" I said. "I'll start the treatment, see what happens with Charlie, but if in the end of the month he or Edward don't know, you are free to tell"

Alice looked at Carlisle, and sighed.

"Okay, but a month" Carlisle said.

"Okay" I sighed. "So, the treatment"

"Yeah. There is more than a drug, so it's probable you suffer a few side effects"

"Okay. How is going to be?"

"You have to come here, and it will take probably three hours" he said.

"My insurance covers?"

They stopped and exchanged worried looks.

"Not all drugs" Carlisle said.

"And I won't be able to pay, even if I didn't have to drop work" I murmured, "So what do we do?"

"We'll take care of that, don't worry" Alice said.

"No! No way!" I said shaking my head, "I won't let you spend so much money on me! Forget it!"

"Bella, please" Carlisle said.

"No, Carlisle. You're already taking care of me, I won't let you pay for it too"

"Bella, I'm going to pay you're liking or not. If you don't show up for the treatment it will be a waste of money and drugs!" Alice said. I continued to shake my head. "Okay, so, Carlisle, when you see drugs wasted, don't feel bad, they were for Bella. She's just too stubborn to accept it"

I stopped shaking my head and glared at her. I sighed in defeat and she grinned.

"Fine. But won't Edward know?"

"No" she said, "I'll pay from my private account. No one will know"

"Okay" I sighed.

"As I was saying, it will take three hours, and we'll have to do it three times a week" Carlisle said.

"For how long?" I asked.

"We will continue this treatment for four months, then we'll see how did it go, continue it, stop it or change the drugs" he said.

"Okay"

"Do you want start today?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm already here"

"I'll prepare everything." He said.

He came back a few minutes later, and we all went to another room. When I entered, there was just an old lady, and a little girl. The girl's hair was missing in a few places, and she looked so fragile. You would think it was sad, but when I sat in the armchair beside her, she had the biggest smile I've seen in a kid.

"Hi! My name is Anna!" she said to me.

"Hi, I'm Bella. This is Carlisle and Alice, my friends" I said pointing to them.

"I know him, right, Dr. Cullen?" she asked excitedly.

"Anna is one of my patients for almost two years" Carlisle said.

"What do you have?" she asked.

"Anna, you're being rude" her mom said and looked at me. "I'm sorry"

"It's okay" I told her, "I have leukemia"

"Me too!" she said happily. "See mommy, finally someone like me!"

"She never met anyone with leukemia too. Sorry, she's excited" her mom said.

"It's good she's excited" I said, "I'm Bella" I said extending my hand to her.

"Heather" she said taking my hand.

"Your hair is pretty, I hope it don't fall like mine" Anna said.

"Thank you" I said.

Carlisle squeezed my arm, getting my attention. He had a syringe in his hand, and I nodded. He injected it in my arm, and told me to lay back a little, and he would have to come back in an hour to give the other drug. Alice stayed beside me, with worried eyes, I just nodded reassuring her I was okay.

"How old are you?" Anna asked.

"I'm 18. And you?"

"I'm ten" she said. "You don't mind if I talk to you, right?"

"No, not at all"

"Good, it distracts me from the nausea" she said.

"That sucks" I said.

"Yeah!" she said and turned to her mom who was on the phone. "Mommy! I'm thirsty!"

Her mom looked unsure what to do. Talk to her daughter or on the phone.

"I'll grab you something" Alice said. "Bella?"

"Yes, please" I said.

Alice went to the nurses station and talked to a nurse.

"Your friend looks like a fairy" Anna said, "She's small"

"I know!" I said smiling.

"My friends can't come with me" she said frowning.

"Maybe we could be friends. I can come to see you" I said.

"Really?" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah"

"Yey!" she said.

Alice went back with two plastic cups; she gave me one and the other to Anna.

"Can we be friends too?" she asked Alice.

"Of course! I feel that we're going to be great friends!" Alice said.

"Are you sick too?" Anna asked.

"No, I just came with Bella" Alice said.

"I know you from somewhere" Anna mused.

"Sorry, it was work" Heather said, "Thanks"

"You're welcome" Alice said.

"Mommy, isn't she the girl we saw in Dr. Cullen's office?" Anna asked.

"Hm… I think so"

"You were in a picture in his office!" Anna said.

"Yeah, I'm his daughter" Alice said.

"No, you're not! You're old!" Anna said.

I started laughing with Alice, while Heather chastised Anna for saying that.

"You are old, you just look young" I whispered just for Alice.

"Sorry" Heather said.

"It's okay. I'm adopted" Alice said.

"Oh" Anna said frowning. "How did you two meet?"

"She's my brother's friend. And we became best friends" Alice said.

"I met my best friend in Chuck E. Cheese" Anna said, "Amy, she's funny. What's your favorite color?"

I was impressed how fast she could change the subject. It was like she had a vampire brain. We talked for an hour, Anna was here four times a week, so we would meet the days I was here. She said she would bring her Barbies, and Alice was excited. Anna started getting sleepy, so we stayed quiet and let her sleep. A few minutes before Carlisle came to give the other drug, I started feeling nausea. I vomited three times, and I know I shouldn't, but I was embarrassed. I don't like throwing up in front of people. Alice stayed there for me every minute. Carlisle came back and gave me the other drug, and gave me a Chiclets, he said it would make me feel a little better. I accepted and he gave two for Heather. He was right, it took the bad taste of my mouth. But didn't stop the nausea, so soon the candy was gone.

We talked just a little with Heather, she spend a lot of time on the phone. She told us Anna was diagnosed with Leukemia when she was five, and she's on chemo for a year and a half. She had spinal cord transplant, but it didn't work. Heather has to work over the phone, because she needs to stay with Anna, but she needs the money. Her husband is working in Seattle, and comes to visit a few days. Anna woke up, when I was leaving, she made me promise I would sit beside her the next time I came. After I promised, Carlisle said I was free to go.

I would be happier if it was Friday, but it was Thursday and I would have to talk to Charlie about school tonight. He would be home in a few hours and I had a lot to do before talking to him. Alice walked me inside.

"Thanks Alice, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you were there" I said.

"You look awful" she said.

"Thanks" I said sarcastically.

"Sorry" she said, "Go rest, you need it"

"I will"

"You are going, now" she said pushing me upstairs.

"I have to…"

"I'll take care of the laundry, Charlie's dinner and make sure the house is in order, now go take some rest. My brother will be there with you in a couple minutes" she said.

"Thanks" I murmured.

I just made a stop to brush my teeth and went to my room. I fall in bed, not even changing my clothes.

"I missed you!" Edward said and hugged me.

"Hi. I missed you two" I said.

"You're tired" he said. "Go to sleep"

He moved so I was wrapped around the blanket and he was on top of it, hugging me.

"I made friends" I murmured.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Anna, she's ten years old. She was there to her treatment" I said not telling I was doing the same treatment.

"I'm glad you made a new friend" he said, "Now, can you tell me what the hell happened?" he asked.

"Edward, please. I promise I'll tell you. Just… give me some time" I said.

"Fine, Bella. But promise me you're okay. That I don't have to worry"

"I promise I'm okay, and you don't have to worry"

"Okay" he said. "You smell funny"

"What?" I asked.

"You had medication in your IV?" he asked.

"Yeah" I said cautiously.

"Hm. That's it. I can smell the drug in you. I don't like it"

I sighed and closed my eyes. I never felt so tired in my life.

Edward woke me up an hour later, Charlie was home. I dragged myself downstairs, and found him eating what looked like spaghetti.

"Hey, Bells. What did you do? This spaghetti is amazing!" he said.

"I don't know. I'm glad you like it"

"Are you okay?" he asked. "You look tired, and have you eaten lately. You're pale and thin"

"I'm fine" I said, "But I need to talk to you about something"

"What?" he asked dropping the fork.

"I have to drop school" I said.

"What!" he yelled. "Why?" he asked getting up and walking to me.

"I'm getting behind. I'm too tired. I've been thinking… I'll get a job now, not at Newton's, and I'll finish high school next year" I lied.

"No! No way in hell!" he yelled.

"Dad, calm down" I asked.

"No. You're not leaving school" he said.

"I wasn't asking, dad. I'm 18, I'm free to do whatever I want" I said.

"No, I won't let you! It's because of that boy! Edward. I knew it! He was trouble!" Charlie said walking around the kitchen gripping his hair.

"It's not because of Edward, dad. And stop talking like this about him" I said annoyed.

"Bella, don't do this to yourself" he said.

"I already did. I'm not gong to school, starting tomorrow" I said and walked away.

"If I know something, that connects you leaving school with that boy… There will be severe consequences!" he said.

I entered my room, and closed the door.

"What are you doing, Bella? Leaving school?" Edward asked.

"I have an extremely painful headache, and I don't want to talk about it Edward" I said as I grabbed some clothes.

"Why are you leaving school?" he asked.

"Are you deaf? I don't want to talk about it" I said.

"Just explain it to me"

"Didn't you hear me talking?"

"You weren't getting behind! You're lying!"

"I think it's for the best. I'm not dropping. I'll finish. Just, not now" I said and got out of the room.

I took a quick shower, and when I was brushing my hair, I started getting paranoid. I wasn't vain, but I couldn't lose my hair. My hair would stay where it was, until I told Edward. If it fell before, he would find out. I got back to my room, and heard my dad still complaining with himself downstairs. Yeah, it will be a long month.


	3. Chapter 3

Edward and Alice wanted to drop school too. Edward because he didn't see the reason to go to high school without me. And wanted to spend time with me. Alice because she was worried and wanted to take care of me. I told them they couldn't because my dad would think it was their fault. Edward still asked why I drop it, and I would say that I would explain, sometime.

My second chemo session was a little better. Anna was excited and we stayed playing, Barbie, cards, monopoly… She was right; it distracted me from the nausea. Alice was always with me and she had fun playing with the Barbie clothes. Carlisle had to prescribe something for the nausea and headaches, but it didn't do much. It helped but didn't stop it.

Edward started getting more suspicious when I dropped my job at Newton's. He would ask what was I thinking, why was I dropping school to work and then drop work, why was I acting weird. Alice would beg me to tell him and the others, but I told her I had until the end of the month, that was the deal. Charlie was always sulky, and Edward visit hours got lesser. I didn't care, I would go to my room and Edward would be there. Charlie would beg me to go back to school, or at least tell him what was happening for me to do something like that.

After the second week of treatment, I realized my skin was getting… dehydrated. Alice bought me a hundred lotions, and they helped a little. Edward noticed my skin, and asked if I was okay.

"You're getting thinner, you don't eat, you're tired, have headaches and now your skin… Let me take you to Carlisle" he begged.

"Edward, no. I'm fine" I said.

"If this is about that… womanly problem you had… I don't care. Talk to Esme, go to a doctor. But you're not looking healthy"

"Edward, I said I would tell you, and it won't take much longer. Just drop it for now" I said.

He dropped it, but he was clearly annoyed.

The rest of the month passed by, fast. Edward asked sometimes why I liked shopping with Alice, suddenly. After all, I was going out with Alice twice a week. I had thee days until the end of the month I promised Carlisle and Alice. I knew that if I got late a minute, Alice would have told. She was desperate for me to tell. She said she knew it would be better, and she couldn't stand Edward, Esme and Jazz asking what was going on. Alice said Rose and Emmett would visit tomorrow, and she thought it was a good time to tell, with the whole family there.

I was freaking out. I knew Edward would be a little angry I didn't say anything sooner. And I knew that from the moment I said 'leukemia' they would treat me different. Alice and Carlisle didn't act too weird. Carlisle would ask more than enough times how was I, and if I was feeling okay. Alice always volunteering to do things for me, like clean the house and make dinner. But the best part is, she stopped asking me to go shopping. I just didn't see the point in getting everyone nervous, concerned and with pity, when I can live normally. I should enjoy while I can live normally, right?

Yeah, I would be able to live normally until today. I woke up later, I was always doing this since I started chemo. I dragged myself out of bed; I had two hours before Edward is back. I decided to make a snack. Everything was perfectly fine. Well, not perfectly. I ate half a sandwich and tried to eat lasagna. Just a little piece. Well, I ended in the bathroom floor throwing up. My stomach couldn't handle much, and I knew Edward was right. I was getting thinner. Carlisle said to me to eat light food, and if I could a lot. Whatever I could, because I would get worse if I continued chemo and was underweight.

I got up from the floor, and decided to take a shower. I was taking a shower, when I felt something in my back. I put my hand, hoping it wasn't a bug, or anything like that. I wish it was a bug. My hair. It was falling. And it wasn't a little, it was falling enough to leave a small bald spot in my head. I started crying silently. Even if I could delay telling Edward, if I hadn't promised Carlisle and Alice I would tell in three days, I would have to tell, because if my hair continued to fall like this, by the end of the week I would be bald.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Edward called thru the door.

"Hm? Yeah. You're early!" I said getting under the water quickly before turning it off.

"Early? I'm on time. You're late. I've been here for fifteen minutes" he said.

"Oh, sorry! Lost track of time" I was in the shower for an hour

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I meet you in the bedroom"

"Okay"

I dried myself and put some clothes on. I started brushing my hair, and other tears spilled. My hairbrush was filled with my hair. I run my fingers thru my hair and it kept falling. I decided to dry my hair, to see the real damage. It fell a little more, but it stopped. I didn't need see the back of my head, I knew there was a hole there, with hair missing. I quickly put my hair in a low, messy bun, and put the hood on. I would have to tell them, sooner than I thought I walked slowly to the bedroom, and found Edward sitting on my bed, reading one of my books. He looked at me with a confused, amused expression.

"Why the hood?"

"I'm cold" I said.

"Come here" he said patting to the spot next to him. I lay beside him, and he covered me up. "Better?" he asked.

"Yeah, thanks" I murmured.

"Do you want something? I can make you a hot chocolate?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks"

He leaned in and gave me a chaste kiss. He leaned back and stared at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Nothing" I said.

"It's not nothing. I'm tired of 'sometime I tell you'. I want to know now" he said.

"Edward, please." I asked. "I'll tell you in less than a couple days, I swear"

"I don't like not knowing what's bothering you so much, and don't know if I can do something about it" he said.

"I promise you, you have nothing to worry about now, if it would make any good telling you, I would have done it already" I said.

"Fine" he murmured.

I fell asleep a few minutes later.

"Bella, wake up. Charlie is here" Edward said

"Okay" I said opening my eyes.

"You look tired. You slept practically the whole day. What's wrong?" he asked.

"For God's sake, Edward! You ask 'what's wrong' so many times, it's driving me crazy!" I said getting out of bed.

I knew I was being unnecessarily harsh with him, but I was so stressed I couldn't bring myself to care.

"I miss Bella" he murmured.

"What?" I asked.

"You're not the Bella I knew. You're distant, you hide things for me, and you're away from me every time you can…" he said sadly, "I don't know you anymore"

"I'm sorry, Edward, if I have problems, and you're not helping" I said sarcastically.

"How could I!" he said and in a flash he was standing in front of me, "You don't tell me anything! How can I help if you don't want me to?"

"I didn't mean like that! You're not helping because you don't leave the problem alone, like I ask! I just want to forget the problem when I'm with you! But you just insist in it!"

"I can't argue about this anymore. I'm going home for awhile" he said and disappeared.

I sighed and went talk to Charlie. We didn't talk much the whole month. He was still mad with me for dropping school. But every night, I talked to him, made sure everything was okay, he would ask how I was and then it was complete silence. This time I was so annoyed I didn't even try to talk to him. I told him where dinner was and went back to my room. I lay in bed, trying to read Wuthering Heights. I was reading but didn't pay attention at all. I fell asleep waiting for Edward.

I woke up the next say alone. I didn't know if I was angrier because of this, or regretting. I found a note in my pillow and I hoped it was Edward's, but it was from Alice.

_I saw you will tell everyone today. You won't have a choice, I'm sorry.  
>I'll be there for you. We all will be. I'll pick you up at one.<br>Emmett can't wait to see you.  
>Alice<em>

I looked in the watch and it was almost noon. I got out of bed and went take a shower. My hopes that my hair stopped falling were crushed. Before, if I put it on a loose bun, it would hide. Now, there wasn't how to hide. I put a hoodie, and went to my room wait for Alice. I knew she would come with a car, and knock the front door. But I didn't stop looking at the window. I wasn't even waiting for her. Alice knocked on the front door, and I yelled her to come in. She was in my room in a second.

"You saw my hair?" I asked.

"Kind of. I saw you telling us, and we getting you a hair cut. So I thought it started falling and that's why you're telling today." She said.

I nodded slowly, and pulled the hood. She was quiet for a moment before she grinned.

"Oh, I saw! You will be great with a short rocker hair! Like… Joan Jett" she said.

"It doesn't matter, it will fall entirely eventually" I murmured pulling the hood back.

"I'm sorry" she murmured.

"It's fine" I murmured picking up my purse. I went downstairs, she followed me. "Tomorrow ? You're coming right?" I asked as I locked the door.

"For your session of chemo? Yeah. But I don't think I will be the only one that will want to come" she said.

"We had a fight" I said entering the car.

"I know" she said going to her side.

"He said something?" I asked.

"He yelled with me and Jazz when he tried to protect me. Esme was upset, Carlisle tried to calm him down, but Edward realized Carlisle knew something. It was… awful. He's being an ass" she said as she drove away.

"He's right" I murmured. "I'm not the old Bella, the one he knew"

"Of course you're not! You've been thru a lot. You changed, you're growing up because of the situation" she said. "That doesn't mean you changed for worse. You changed for good, Bella. But he has to know the reasons to understand that"

"What if he doesn't like the new Bella?" I asked fighting the tears.

"Are you crazy? Being Bella, changed or not, he will always love you"

"He almost left, you all did. What if he does that again?" I said as tears fell, "I mean… Why would he stay now? He's mad, I'm sick, bald, tired all the time…"

"Stop it!" she interrupted. "He won't do that. He loves you. He couldn't leave you"

"I hope you're right" I said as she turned in their driveway.

"We're hiding our thought until you tell, don't worry" she said.

I nodded. A couple minutes later we parked in front of their house. As soon as I was out of the car, I was in two strong arms, lifting me off the ground, in a bear hug.

"Bella! Missed you, kid!" Emmett said and put me down, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah" I murmured.

"You're so thin. Esme will give you food until you explode" he said.

I gave him a weak smile, and followed Alice inside.

"Hi, Rosalie" I said when I saw her sitting in the living room.

"Hi" she said and turned to the TV.

"Hi, Bella. Are you better?" Esme asked as she hugged me.

"Yeah" I murmured.

Carlisle was in the couch, nodded and stood up.

"Where's Edward?" I asked quietly.

"In his room. You should go there. He's on PMS" Emmett joked.

"Edward, please, we need to talk" I asked.

He came walking at human speed, and stood in front of me, glaring at me.

"Let's talk in the dining room" Carlisle said.

Everyone followed him and Esme, except Rosalie. I knew she didn't like me, and wouldn't care I was sick, so I didn't say anything.

"Rosalie, please come. It's a family conversation" Carlisle said as he sat down in one of the chairs.

She came in glaring at me, and sat beside Emmett. There was one seat for me, beside Edward, but I just stood in the middle of the room, facing them.

"As you all may know, I'm weird lately" I said. I saw Esme was going to interrupt so I quickly continued. "I want to explain why, today. I want you all to understand I kept a secret, because I thought, I_ think_ I should not let this affect my life, as much as I could, and I knew that if I told you, things would change. But now things are different"

"Sweetie, we wouldn't change anything, if you wouldn't like" Esme said.

"About three months ago, you were leaving, and I fainted. Edward took me to the hospital where Carlisle treated me. I lied. It wasn't just a simple illness. Carlisle made some tests that day, and he found out I was seriously sick. I had treatment with medication, at home, but I got worse, and a month ago I went back to the hospital with Alice. I've been on a rough, difficult treatment since then, Alice and Carlisle helped me. I had to drop school, and work. And as Edward pointed out last night, I'm changed because of the secret. So I decided it was time to tell."

"Bella, what's wrong? You're scaring me" Edward murmured staring at me.

The tears fell, as I pulled the hood down. Everyone, except Carlisle and Alice, gasped.

"I have leukemia. I've been on chemo for a month now"

"What?" Edwars gasped, "No!" he turned to Alice and Carlisle, "No! It can't be!"

"Edward, please, calm down" Carlisle asked.

"You knew! You could have told me, I would have helped!" Edward yelled at him. "I should have helped!"

"Edward, stop" I murmured.

"She's sick for three months, a month seriously sick. Needed help! But you kept this secret! I don't care what you think, or she thought. I had the right to know. She needed help!" Edward shouted.

"Edward, stop!" I shouted.

The room went completely silent. They weren't even breathing.

"Why?" Edward asked.

"That's why. I didn't need your help. I needed you beside me, as my boyfriend. Not babysitting me, as Alice and Carlisle been. I grateful to them, but I… I wanted my life normal, when I still able to have it. And telling you, would mean change everything. You would be constantly concerned, trying to take care of me. I want to be your girlfriend, not a child for you to take care"

Esme got up and hugged me.

"You'll be okay" she whispered in my ear.

"Thanks" I said.

"How long?" Emmett asked, "How long she's been sick and how long she has?"

"She's probably sick for a year" Carlisle said, "She's doing chemo, so she must have a couple years"

"No" Edward murmured shaking his head.

"She should move in" Rose said.

We all looked surprised and confused at her. Move in? Like… Live with them? Rose wouldn't suggest that.

"What?" I asked.

"She needs somewhere where she can concentrate in herself, and don't have to worry about Charlie. She's eighteen, she should live here. I think it's perfect. People with leukemia have immunologic problems, right?" she said to Carlisle.

"Yeah, that's why she had to drop school and work. It would be too much for her system"

"This house is perfect for her. None of us can get sick and pass it to her, and the house is always clean. And she wouldn't have to worry about anything" Rose said and looked at me, "What do you think?"

"Hm…" I said confused, "Edward, please say something"

He didn't but he ran to me and hugged me. We spend minutes hugged, he kissing my forehead sometimes.

"Rose is right" Edward finally said.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah" he said.

"Hm… So, I can move in?"

"Okay, I know I shouldn't, but I'm happy. With you moving in, I mean" Esme said.

We all chuckled and I pulled away from Edward.

"Forgive me" he said.

"Nothing to forgive. All my fault"

He reached his hand and caressed my hair. I closed my eyes, fighting the tears when he touched a bald spot. I opened my eyes when everyone gasped. They were staring concerned at us. I followed their gaze, and in Edward's hand there was my hair. I hugged him, fighting the tears. Edward lifted me up, and carried me to the couch, where he sat with me in his lap. I decided it was time to be happy.

"Alice, I think I need a hair cut" I said.

I pulled away from Edward. He was staring at me, concerned and cautious.

"Come on, Rose!" Alice said.

They pulled me from Edward, and I gave him a smile. I was relieved to see a smile before I left. They dragged me upstairs to Alice's room. She and Rose were talking and touching my hair.

"What are you taking?" I asked confused, "I'll be bald, there isn't much to discuss"

"Bald? I thought it was just a haircut!" Rose said.

"Well, yeah, but… I don't think the bald spots will help the haircut you want"

"She's right Alice" Rose said.

"Oh, it was such an beautiful hair" Alice whined.

Alice came back with scissors, and other things. But she said she couldn't do it. I took it from her, and did it myself, with some help from Rose. Half an hour later, I was completely bald. I walked down stairs and met the rest of the family. The smiled sweetly at me, but I just waited for Edward to say something. He was frozen staring at me. Not smiling, not frowning… Completely expressionless. He walked slowly to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head.

"Still the most beautiful" he whispered in my ear.

I blushed, and shook my head.

"Liar" I murmured.

"Again, you don't see yourself clearly" he said.

"I have to go talk to Charlie" I said.

"Okay, let's go" he said taking my hand.

"Thank you, all of you" I said to them.

Esme gave me a quick hug, and Emmett a bear hug before we got out. We entered his car, he hold my hand driving slowly. I was thankful for that; I needed time before confronting Charlie.

"What am I going to say to him?" I asked quietly.

"What do you want to say?" he asked.

"I have to tell I'm sick, or he won't let me move out." I snorted realizing how stupid I was, "Like I had a choice. He'll see it, the moment he sees my hair. Or lack of it."

"So you're telling him about the… Leukemia?"

"Yeah" I said swallowing the lump in my throat. "Tell me he'll be alright"

"He'll be fine, don't worry" Edward said rubbing my knuckles.

"Edward, you know we need to talk" I said after a few minutes.

He nodded, slowing down as we reached my house.

"We talk later. My family will go hunting, we'll have the house to ourselves" he said.

"I'm going to die" I said.

"No" he said shaking his head.

I took his face in my hands, and he closed his eyes.

"Edward, I know you don't want to accept it, but I am"

"Let's not talk about it now. Later" he said.

I sighed and released his face. He got out and opened my door, pulling me to him, as we walked to the house. Charlie would be home soon, so I decided to make dinner. Edward helped me, but we didn't say a word. He would kiss the tope of my head, when passing thru me, and I would give him a weak smile, but he wouldn't return. Truth be told, it was scaring the hell out of me. That's why I didn't tell him sooner. He wasn't the same. He was expressionless. No, sometimes he would look at me worried, but shut the emotion down, when he realized I saw it. I pulled my hood back when I heard Charlie parking the car.

"Hey, kids" he said entering the kitchen.

"Hey, dad" I said not looking at him.

"Charlie" Edward said.

"Dinner is ready?" he asked.

"In a few minutes" I said and took a deep breath, "Can we talk?"

"Sure" he said and sat on the kitchen table.

I turned to face him, and Edward put an arm in my shoulders.

"I'm moving out, dad"

"What?" he snapped.

"I'm moving out. I'm going to live with the Cullens"

Okay, I knew I started horribly. I should have told him the reason first. Now, he's going to get angry, and I'll have to calm him down first.

"No" he said calmly "I'm not letting you"

This made me mad. Not letting me? He thinks he can control me? I'm not a kid anymore.

"It wasn't a question, dad" I said. "That doesn't matter. There is something more important"

"What?" he said mad.

"I'm sick" I said as the tears fell.

"What?" his voice more calm, worried, "What's wrong?"

"I have leukemia, dad" I said in almost a whisper.

"No" he said shaking his head.

I pulled my hood down, and heard him gasp. Edward moved away from me grabbing a glass of water and putting in front of Charlie. He was staring at me blankly. It was like he wasn't even seeing me. I decided I should continue since he didn't seem able to say anything.

"I was diagnosed three months ago, and I'm on chemo for a month. I just told the rest of the Cullens, since Dr. Cullen already knew, he's my doctor. They think I should stay with them. They can take care of me, and… It would be best"

"I can't take care of you?" Chalie asked annoyed.

"It's not that, Charlie. There she would be able to continue her studies, we would help, she would have everything she needed, and all of us will be there for her" Edward said, "It's the best she can get, after a hospital"

"How long?" Charlie asked.

"Probably until I get better, or… go to the hospital…" _And die_.

"How long you have?" he murmured as tears rolled down his face.

"A couple years, top" I said.

"That's not right" he murmured and I hugged him.

He hugged me as tightly as he could, crying in my shoulder.

"It's not right. You should go to college, get a job, get an apartment, get married, have kids. I would take them fishing, and you would invite me to Christmas. Carlisle and I would spoil the kids" I chuckled as I realized he thought I would marry Edward. "It's not right, Bells" he cried, "I should go first"

"Neither of us should go, this way would be perfect" I said.

"It's not fair" he cried.

I shook my head, agreeing with him. We cried together for ten minutes, before I pulled away and gave him a weak smile.

"Can I go?" I asked.

He looked at Edward, and sighed.

"Yes, but I'll see you everyday" he said sternly.

"Wouldn't want have it any other way" I said.

"When are you going?" he asked.

"I don't know…" I said and looked at Edward.

"You can go any time, tonight, if you want" I looked at my dad, and he nodded.

"Okay, have dinner, while I pack some things" I said and kissed his cheek.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Charlie asked.

"I… Esme said she would do something special if I went tonight" I said.

"Oh, okay" Charlie said and got up to grab a plate.

"Don't worry dad, you'll still have dinner every night" I called as Edward and I walked upstairs.

"Yeah, that's important!" he yelled sarcastically

Edward and I entered my room, and I closed the door, leaning against it, and sighing. Edward hugged me and sat with me in bed.

"Your dad is right. This is wrong. This is not the way is supposed to happen." Edward murmured.

"Edward, can we talk later? In your house? I don't want to have this conversation with my dad around"

"You're right" he said letting go of me.

He stood there as I packed clothes, and everything I would need. I gave him the bag, and he kissed me passionately. He never kissed me like this. The desperation, made me uneasy. Like this would be the last kiss. He pulled away, when I needed air. But of course, there wasn't just air I needed. I run out of the room, and to the bathroom, making just in time. I felt Edward's hand in my neck, and caressing my back.

"Sorry" I mumbled.

"It's fine, love" he said.

I heard Charlie coming up, and opening the door.

"Are you okay, Bells?" he asked.

"Yeah, dad. It's fine, I'm used to it"

"Do you need anything?" he asked.

"No, just to rest. Edward and I should go" I said as Edward helped me up.

Charlie nodded and left. I cleaned my mouth, brushed my teeth, and put the toothbrush in my bag. Edward starting pulling me, but I stopped looking at the mirror. God! I was awful. My cheekbones were terribly visible, I was clearly underweight. I was pale, and with dark circles under my eyes. I touched my head, it felt weird without my hair. I looked like I was going to die in weeks, not years. I tear rolled down my face, as I took in my appearance. Edward appeared behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and kissed my head. I had too look away. It was like the Beauty and the Beast. The contrast from our appearances, was awful.

I walked away, with Edward right behind me. I said a quick goodbye to Charlie, a hug, and a promise we would see each other tomorrow. I entered Edward's car, and he drove in silence as I looked outside.

"How is he?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Who?"

"My dad. I don't believe he's that fine. How is he, really?"

"He… He's in shock. A little in denial. But he's trying to be strong for you" Edward said.

"What happens when I die?" I asked crying silently.

"_If _you die. And you won't" Edward said sternly.

"He's a little in denial, and you are in total denial" I said, "Edward isn't a matter of _if_, it's a matter of _when_. And we know it. You have to accept the fact"

He just shook his head and stopped in front of his house.

"I won't have it" he said and got out.

I sighed and got out to me engulfed in a hug.

"You're back. Took you so long!" Esme said.

I chuckled and hugged her back. It was just a couple of hours. Between her, Alice and Emmett, I'll grow tired of hugs.

"Let's get you settled" Esme said pulling away and taking me by the hand.

She dragged me to Edward's room, where we find Jasper and Emmett settling a king size bed down.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Your room. And Edward's , of course" Esme said.

"The bed?"

"It's fine. I was thinking of redecorating my room anyway" Alice said getting out of the closet.

"Alice! You… You gave me your bed? You didn't have to! It's too much, I can sleep on the couch" I said.

"Are you going to make us take it back, Bella?" Jasper asked giving me a pointed look.

I sighed. They won, as always.

"Thank you. I won't ever thank enough" I said.

"Senseless. Get comfortable. We're going hunting" Esme said.

She kissed my forehead, and walked away. Alice kissed my cheek, and squeezed my hand. Emmett as always gave me a bear hug. As Jasper passed, he hesitated, before wrapping an arm around me, in a awkward hug.

"I'm here if you need" he said.

It took me a moment to everything sink in, and I wrapped my arms around his waist, carefully, not wanting to push any boundaries.

"Thank you, Jazz" I whispered.

He nodded and we pulled away, and he nodded to Edward. I was still surprised by his gesture when he disappeared. I walked in the room, and sat in bed.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked.

"Edward, stop asking me if I'm okay every five minutes. I'm fine. Don't worry" I said smiling and grabbed my bag.

I took my pajamas, and changed in the bathroom, when I came back Edward was in bed, with the TV remote in his hand, and a tray with food beside him.

"Esme cooked your dinner" he said as I lay beside him.

I nodded and looked at the tray. I wasn't really hungry. And I knew if I ate I would get another episode in the bathroom like earlier.

"Please, Bella. You're so thin. Carlisle says you need to eat. You're going to get worse if you stay like this" Edward said.

I frowned and sighed. I tried to eat, swallowing the food. I ate half of it, and gulped the glass of juice, trying to settle everything in my stomach. I was going to regret this later. Edward frowned when I said I was finished with just half of it, but let it go. He took the tray and disappeared for a minute before coming back and lying beside me. I snuggled close to him, laying my head in his chest. He caressed my arm, and a tear fell, as I realized he normally caressed my hair.

"You miss my hair" I stated.

"I do. But I don't care" he said and kissed my head.

"I'm awful" I murmured.

"No, you're not. You're my Bella. You're always beautiful"

"Yeah, right" I said sarcastically and snorted, "I… The contrast between us in the mirror…"

"You're right. The Beauty and the Beast" he said.

"Exactly my thoughts" I said.

"Even you're name is like the character" he said.

"Are you saying I'm Belle?"

"Yeah, who else?"

"I'm the beast, Edward" I said.

"Bella, I'm telling you, you're beautiful. Please, let's not argue" he said.

"Okay" I said, "What was that about Jazz?"

"He wanted to show he cares and his support"

"Yeah, I realized that. But the hug. Wasn't it… difficult for him?"

"No" Edward mumbled.

"He's better now? His bloodlust is gone?" I asked happily.

"No, it's…" Edward sighed, "You're blood it's not so appealing anymore. The drug in your system makes it smell odd. Not appetizing"

"I'm starting to like chemo" I said. "Are you going with me?"

"To your chemo session? Yeah" he said.

"It's tomorrow, at three" I said, "And you'll meet Anna"

"The friend you once talked about?"

"Yeah. She's ten. She has leukemia too" I said. "You will like her. She's like a mix of the Cullen girls. She is excited, joyful like Alice, caring, like Esme, and even a little vain, and determined like Rose"

"Yeah?" he asked amused.

"Yeah. And she's beautiful. Her eyes are a beautiful light green, that sometimes looks like blue. She has this… dark blond hair, that is a little curly in the tips… It's a shame it's falling" I said.

"I can see you care deeply for her"

"I do. She's my leukemia little bud" I said smiling at the nickname she gave herself.

We fell into silence and I sighed, realizing we were avoiding the subject.

"Let's talk?" I asked.

"Yes" he said.

"I'm dying" he shook his head, "I'm going to die. There isn't anything you can do, Edward"

"No, Bella"

"Do you want me to die?" I asked.

"Of course not. You won't. I won't let it happen"

"Fine, let's get in denial. _If_ I die…" I said carefully, "Will you change me?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes, and sighed. He slowly shook his head, and my tears fell.

"Bella…"

"You're going to leave me?" I asked angrily, "You're going to let me leave. You're going to let me die? You don't want me?"

"Of course I want you, Bella" he said trying to pull me closer, "I do. It's just…"

"Do you prefer let me die, never see me again, than change me? Why is that so difficult?"

"Because it's wrong. Take your soul…"

"God,Edward! I don't believe in this soulless shit! Listen to me! I'm going to die! Are you going to let me?"

"No" he said.

"Are you going to change me?"

"With one condition" he said.

"What?" I asked cautiously.

"You'll try everything. When there isn't anything else to do, then I'll change you"

"That's the only way?"

"Yes"

"Yes, Edward" I said smiling weakly.

He sighed relieved and hugged me. I knew that the agreement would suck for me. But I was fine with it, if I had Edward, forever.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up to go to the bathroom, regretting having dinner. I knew this would happen. I felt cold hands in my neck, but not the right hands.

"Shh, do you want me to get Carlisle?" Esme asked.

"No, it's fine. It's… normal" I said resting my head in the cold wall. "Sorry"

"Don't need to be. It's fine" she said.

"Edward?"

"Emmett had to drag him to hunt. It's been too long. But don't worry, he'll be back soon, for your treatment"

"Hm, thanks"

"Do you need anything?" she asked.

"No, just a glass of water, please"

"Here" Rose said from the door.

I looked at her and she had a glass of water. Esme helped me up, and I took the glass from Rose, giving her a weak smile.

"Thanks"

"You're welcome" she said. "Hm, Esme, that… thing is weird. I don't know what's happening"

"Oh, I'll go check it" Esme said and disappeared.

I looked at Rose, trying to understand. She gave me a sheepish smile and looked at her hands.

"She asked me to take care of something she was cooking for you. But… I'm not good at it"

"Oh, thanks" I said putting the glass in the sink.

I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I walked back to the room, and Rose was sitting on the bed, watching TV. I didn't understand, really. She never talked to me. Now, she invited me to live with them, talked to me, and helped me. I took some clothes and changed quickly. I would take a shower when I got back from the hospital. I always needed one to feel better. I paused in the mirror, sighed and pulled the hood.

"I'm sorry, Bella" Rose said.

"For what, Rosalie?" I asked confused.

"For your hair. For agreeing in leaving that time. For the way I treated you. And I'm sorry you're sick"

"Hm, thanks" I said still a little confused with the situation.

She nodded and got up from the bed. I walked out of the room slowly, with her following. We went downstairs, to the living room. Alice and Japer were sitting together in a loveseat, watching TV. I sat with Rose in the couch, and Alice gave me the remote. I shook my head, and she shrugged, changing channels.

"Sweetheart, do you want something to eat?" Esme asked coming from the kitchen.

"No, thank you, Esme"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I don't want to risk it so soon"

"Okay" she said.

"Oh, it will be Anna's birthday in two weeks!" Alice said.

"Who is Anna?" Rose asked.

"A ten year old girl, with leukemia. We met her in chemo" I said.

"Oh" Rose said and frowned.

"Let's buy her a present! Her mom is considering giving a party, but depends on how she'll be. But probably will happen, and Anna will invite us" Alice said.

"Okay" I said.

"Oh, Rose, you will love her! She's so sweet!" Alice said.

"I bet she is" Rose said.

The door opened, and before I could register, Edward was hugging me.

"I missed you" he said.

"I missed you too" I said.

"I'm sorry. Emmett dragged me" he said pulling away.

"It's okay, you needed to hunt. I understand" I said.

He kissed me softly and sat beside me.

"How are you little sis?" Emmett asked entering the house.

"I'm okay" I said amused with my big brother.

"Do you need anything?" he asked.

"No, thank you, Emmett" I said.

"Are you sure? A pillow? Food? Do you want me to get Carlisle? Are you in pain?" he asked.

"Emmett, calm down. I'm fine, thank you" I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Emmett" I said rolling my eyes.

"Okay" he said sitting down beside Rose.

They were all being kind, nice and concerned. Who would think that big, burly Emmett had a protective, softie, concerned side? And Rose… She couldn't care less if I disappeared from their lives and now she's helping me, and inviting me to live with them. I knew they would change when they knew, but there was unexpected changes. Jasper's hug. That was definitely unexpected. Edward didn't change much. Just a little more caring. Of course, he's in denial, but maybe he would accept the fact with some time. Should I take him today to my chemo session? He… He got so worried, and it was like it pained him to see me suffer. If he went… I didn't want him to see me suffer, or suffer with me.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Edward asked.

"Hm? Oh, nothing" I murmured.

"Jazz says you're worried. What's wrong?"

"Hm… Edward I don't think you should go with me to chemo" I said.

"What? Why?"

"Alice can go with me, right, Alice?" I asked her.

"Sure. I was going anyway, see if Carlisle let me stay, to see Anna too" she said.

"No, I'll go with you, Bella" Edward said.

"You shouldn't" I said.

"Why?"

"It's… I see the pain it causes you, to see me sick. And I don't want it. You shouldn't go" I said.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'm going" he said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Absolutely"

"Fine" I sighed.

"Charlie will come after dinner" Alice said.

"Oh, okay"

"And…" she said but stopped glancing at Edward.

I looked at Edward and his jaw was clenched.

"What?"I asked.

"He wants to know if he can say something to Billy and Jacob Black" she said, "He thinks they should know, they're close friends"

"Oh, okay" I said.

"Will you?" Rose asked.

"What?"

"Let him tell the Blacks?" she said.

"I think so. They are like family, they should know. Maybe I'll go visit them sometimes…"

"You shouldn't get out of the house too much, Bella" Edward said.

"I want to see them, not now. Another time" I said.

"We talk about it later" he said.

"Okay" I said.

"We should go" Alice said.

"Already?" I asked as she got up.

"Anna will start treatment earlier today. I want to be there" she said.

"Oh, okay. Let's go" I said getting up with Edward.

"Can Jazz go?" Alice asked.

"Sure" I said smiling at him.

"It will be alright for you to go to the hospital, Jazz?" Esme asked.

"We hunted last night, and the floor there is just chemo patients. It won't be a problem" Alice said.

"Oh, okay" Esme said. "Good luck"

"Thanks" I said nodding to them in goodbye.

We took Edward's Volvo, Alice and Jazz went in the back, as Edward drove holding my hand. We made our way to the floor where the chemo treatment was given, quickly not risking expose Jazz to blood. We arrived and met Carlisle in front of the elevator, talking to a nurse.

"Hello" he said smiling at us as the nurse went away.

"Hi" I said.

"You're early" he said.

"We came to see Anna, before Bella starts" Alice said.

"Oh, she just started" Carlisle said walking with us, "I had to change a few drugs, she's not happy"

"We'll make her. Even if we need Jazz, right?" Alice said.

"I'm sure" Carlisle said smiling. "I'll talk to her mom. She was worried, she had something at work, but couldn't leave Anna. Maybe she'll go now that you're here"

"Good idea" I said.

We entered the room, Anna was leaned back in the armchair, with her eyes closed and a frown. Her mom was caressing her head, and talking in the phone. She saw us coming in, and smiled brightly, hanging up the phone.

"Hey, I thought you wouldn't come until later" she said.

"We came to see her" I said, "Carlisle said she was starting earlier"

"Oh, that's great. Thank you!"

"Can I talk to you a minute Mrs. Miller?" Carlisle asked.

"Sure" she said getting up and following him out.

"She's brave" Jazz said. "She is trying not to be scared"

"She is" I said.

"She's so young" Edward said frowning.

I nodded and took my seat in my usual armchair. Alice and Jazz took some plastic chairs that were close, and talked in hushed tones, so I couldn't understand. I moved to the side, and poked Edward's arm. He took his eyes of Anna and smiled at me, sitting with me, almost in his lap.

"I have to go." Heather said coming back, "Dr. Cullen said you'll keep her company. Is that okay?"

"We came for that. Don't worry Heather, we'll be here for her, and if anything comes up Dr. Cullen will call you" I said.

"Thank you, Bella. Sorry, I didn't even introduced myself" she said to Edward, "Heather Miller"

"Edward Cullen" he said shaking her hand. "That's Jasper Hale with Alice"

Jasper nodded and she nodded back. They were avoiding touching her. She already felt Edward's cold hand, if she felt Jasper's it would be weird.

"I'll just talk to her a minute" she said and shook Anna slightly, "Anna, honey. Wake up"

"Hm?" she said stirring, "Mommy?"

"Hey, sweetie" Heather said when she opened her eyes, "Bella and Alice are here"

Anna turned around quickly and grinned when she saw us.

"Bella!"

"Hey, Anna" I said.

"You're early!"

"Came to see you" Alice said.

"Oh, thanks! That's great!"

"Anna, honey, mommy has a problem at work. Dr. Cullen said is okay for me to go. Bella, Alice and their… friends will be here. Is that okay?" Heather asked.

"Sure, mommy. We'll have fun. You can go"

"Okay. Be good" she said and kissed her forehead, "Anything ask them to call me"

"Okay" Anna said.

"Thanks" Heather said before walking away.

"They changed my treatment, Bella!" Anna whined.

"I heard! How is it going?" I asked.

"It sucks. I had to come earlier, I didn't sleep last night. So I'm a little sleepy, but the treatment doesn't let me fall asleep"

"You were just sleeping" I said amused.

"Restless" she said with a frown, "And it makes me sick"

"I'm sorry" I said, "That sucks"

"Dr. Cullen said it's more like your treatment. It makes you this sick?"

"Yeah, sometimes. But it will get better" I said.

She smiled and looked at Edward and then Jasper.

"Oh, this is Edward Cullen, Alice's brother. And that is Jasper Hale, Alice's… friend" I said.

"Ooh, you're Bella's _friend_?" she asked grinning mischievously.

"Yes" Edward said chuckling.

"And I imagine you're the same kind of friend, but Alice's" she said to Jasper.

"Yeah" Jazz answered.

"Why don't they call you boyfriends?" she asked Edward.

"I don't know" Edward said.

"I didn't think… I thought you were too young to understand" I said.

"Well, I came from somewhere. My dad was my mommy's boyfriend. So I understand" she said, "And Amy has one too"

"Oh, yeah?" I asked amused.

"Yeah, Dean. I don't like him" she said. "Can I call you Eddie? Or Ed? Your name is too long"

"Sure" Edward said and Alice and Jasper laughed.

"I never met someone called Jasper" she said.

"People call me Jazz, if you prefer" Jazz said.

"Like the music?" she asked.

"Yeah" he said.

"Do you play something?"

"Yeah, a few things…" Jasper said.

I snorted. All the Cullens played. Everything. Any instrument you asked they played. Well, they did had money and time to learn.

"Bella let me hear the song you played for her" Anna said to Edward. "It was beautiful"

"How…?" he asked me.

"Alice's iPod, she brought to me" I said.

"Oh. Well, thank you" he said to Anna.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"I'm eighteen" he said.

"You?" he asked Jazz.

"Nineteen"

"You two look older. Like… Never mind" she said shrugging and Edward and Alice exchanged concerned glances.

She looked at me, well, stared. She looked confused then shocked.

"Your hair!" she said.

I remembered I didn't take the hood. Heather didn't say anything, she was too kind to. I smiled weakly at her and pulled the hood.

"You… shaved?" she asked.

"Yeah"

"Why?"

"It started falling" I said shrugging.

"Mine too, but I didn't shave. Should I?" she asked.

"No, maybe it will grow again"

It wasn't exactly a lie. There was the chance that it would grow again. But if the drugs affected me the way it affected her, her hair would just disappear like mine, falling quickly.

"Oh, your hair was _sooo_ beautiful. I was going to ask if I could braid" she said and shrugged, "So, are you always coming with her?" she asked Edward.

"Yes" he said, "And maybe someone else from our family"

She smiled for a second before she grimaced. Edward went to get up, but I was up and walking to her before him. I knew too well why she was grimacing. I kneeled beside her and hold her head as she threw up. Edward came and put his cold hand in the back of her neck, she shivered at first but relaxed after a moment. She started crying and reached for me.

"Shh, honey, it's okay" I said hugging her.

"Sorry" she mumbled.

"I understand. It's fine" I said lifting her to sit her in my lap. She stayed in my lap, hugging me tight and sobbing quietly.

"My head hurts" she whined.

"Alice?" I said.

"I'll go get Carlisle" she said already walking out of the room.

I rocked her lightly, trying to sooth her and not make her sick. Edward sat back in the armchair where we were before, watching us with a smile playing in his lips.

"Hey, Anna" Carlisle said approaching, "Your head hurts?"

"Yeah" she mumbled lifting her head a little from my shoulder.

"Do you want a pill, or a injection?"

"Hm… A injection" she mumbled.

"Really?" I asked surprised. "I freak out with injections"

"I did too. But they work faster" she said.

"Smart girl" Carlisle said preparing a syringe.

She grabbed my hand, and squeezed as the needle pierced thru her skin, closing her eyes, and clenching her jaw.

"Brave too" I said as Carlisle finished.

"Thanks" she murmured.

"It might get her sleepy" Carlisle said.

"More?" she asked amused.

"Yeah, well, more" he said and looked to me, "I'll come in a few minutes to take care of you"

"Thank you, Carlisle" I said.

He nodded and changed glances with Edward, who still watched me and Anna with a sad smile.

"Bella?" she said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm a little hungry" she said.

"We'll take care of that" Alice said getting up with Jazz, "What she can get?" she asked Carlisle.

"Something light" he said.

"Do you like chicken salad sandwich?" Alice asked Anna. Anna scowled and shook her head. "Well, what do you want then?" Alice asked.

"Hm… Surprise me" Anna said.

"Okay" Alice said smiling, "Come on, Jazz"

"They will take half hour. You can sleep, Anna" Edward said.

"Okay" she sighed resting her head under my chin.

I hummed Esme's song to her, as she fell asleep, and continued to hum, closing my eyes and leaning back.

"Bella?" I opened my eyes to find Carlisle beside me smiling weakly at me.

"Sorry, just relaxing a little" I said.

"It's okay. Ready?" he asked with a syringe.

"Yeah" I said and looked at Anna. "Hm, I have to move?" I asked.

"No, you can stay there" Carlisle said.

I nodded and extended my right arm, as my left was wrapped around Anna. Edward moved to a plastic chair beside me, holding my right hand. Carlisle gave me the injection, and told me to lean back as always. He told us to call him if we needed, and went away, apparently something in the ER. I kept looking into Edward's loving, concerned and amazed eyes. I really didn't understand this amazement but didn't say anything. His thumb caressed my knuckles, and he lifted my hand to kiss it a few times. As promised Alice and Jasper came back almost forty minutes later. They were carrying bottles of juice, silverware, and plastic containers with food.

"Hm? Are going to have a picnic?" I asked amused.

"Well, I have the doctors consent, so… I guess so" she said pulling a couple of plastic stools that were to patients companions. She put the food down, and Jazz poured some juice in the plastic cups.

"Where did this come from?" I asked.

"Esme" Alice said shrugging.

"You… You went to your house, made her cook, and came back?" I asked shocked with how much trouble she had to do this.

"She was more than happy to do it" Jasper said.

I shook my head, and shook Anna slightly.

"Anna? There is food" I said.

"Hm?" she asked waking up.

"Food" I said.

"Hm, I'm awake! I'm awake!" she said jumping up and searching for the food.

We chuckled and Alice gave her a fork and another for me, as we eat a little of everything.

"Hmmm" Anna said nodding, "This is the best thing I've ate my entire life"

"I'm glad you like it" Alice said, "Just don't tell your mom that"

"I won't tell this food is better than the pizzas she orders" Anna said rolling her eyes, "Mom sucks at cooking"

"My dad too" I said, "He would probably burn the house down"

"My mom almost did it. She was cooking, and the pan got on fire, and then the towel… She throw the towel in the sink and the sink started getting on fire too… Dad ran and turned the tap on, ending it"

"Okay, your mom is worse than my dad" I said chuckling.

"The worst" she said.

"Oh, well, thank you"

We turned to see Heather walking to us with a knowing grin in her face. Anna and I blushed and I glared at the three vampires that could have told me she would hear. "Mommy!" Anna squealed from my lap.

"Hey, honey. How was it?" she asked picking her up from my lap.

"It was fun. Bella was there all the time. And Ed said he'll be here with her often. And Ali and Jazz brought food for me and Bella" she said wrapping her arms around her mom's neck.

"Thank you. So, so much" Heather said to us.

"It's fine" I said and the rest nodded in agreement.

Heather smiled and put her down in the other armchair, talking to her in hushed tones.

"Carlisle is coming to give you the rest of the drugs" Edward said.

I nodded and leaned back, feeling tired.

"Bella? How are you?" Carlisle asked.

"I hate it. But I'm fine" I said with my eyes still closed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Can I inject the other drugs?" he asked.

I nodded and extended my right arm, with my palm facing up, waiting. Edward's fingers twined with mine and squeezed slightly.

"Okay" he said after he injected, "Can we talk a moment?"

"Sure" I said opening my eyes.

He sat in a chair close to me, and leaned closer, resting his elbows in his knees. He glanced at Edward and Alice before looking at me.

"It's been a month, and I would like to do some tests, to see how the treatment is going"

"I thought just after four months we would think in changing it" I said confused.

"Yes, it would be best wait a couple more months, but I would like to see how is it going so far, and take precautions" he said.

"Translating: You wouldn't ask this if it was someone else, but since it's me, and you get more worried you want to do more tests" I said amused, "Okay, fine. When?"

"Maybe next week" he said, "And… Alice…" he glanced at her.

"I've been having flashing of you in school again. But I don't know when, and they change all the time" she said.

"I can go back?" I asked excitedly.

I didn't like Forks High much, but it was better than being stuck home.

"Maybe. If your immunity gets better, then yes. But you'll still be careful" Carlisle said.

"Of course" I said.

"Okay, I come to check on you later" he said getting up and patting my arm as he passed.

Alice started talking about what I should wear if I went back to school, and that we should make a 'little' party. Yeah, right. Little party? With Alice? Impossible.

"Did you tell Renée?" Edward asked.

"No. I… I don't know if I should" I said. "I'm still okay, maybe I shouldn't worry her. I think I'll tell her if I get sicker"

"You won't" Edward said and kissed the back of my hand, "You won't" he said again resting his forehead in my hand.

"Denial, it makes no good for you, Edward" I said.

We stayed in silence and I looked at Anna she was sitting in her mother's lap, sleeping, like she was in mine. I didn't get too sick that session. But when I did I realized I wasn't so stressed about it and I smiled at Jasper, silently thanking him. He gave me a tense smile back and glanced at Edward. I follow his gaze and flinched. The pain in his eyes… It pained me to see him like that, and because of me… I almost told him to go, but Alice shook her head, smiling weakly at me. Yeah, he wouldn't go. I leaned back talking to them. Apparently Alice saw their cousins, the Denalis coming in less than a month for a visit. Jasper and Alice told me what's been going on in school, and Edward kept quiet, smiling weakly at some of Alice's comments. Anna wake up a little before I was going home, and she came to sit with me again.

"Next week is my birthday" she said.

"I've been informed" I said looking at Alice who grinned.

"Mommy said I can have a little party" she said, "Will you come?"

"Of course!" I said.

"All of you?" she asked the others.

"We'll be there!" Alice said excitedly.

"Okay, good!" Anna said hugging me.

"I hope you like gifts!" Alice said.

"I love them!" Anna said.

"I have to go" I said, "I'll see you Monday?"

"Yeah, thanks for staying with me, Bella" she said.

"It was a pleasure" I said and she jumped out of the chair.

I stood up and gave Heather a quick goodbye, as Anna said goodbye to Alice and Jazz, talking about the party with Alice. Heather said she would give us the party information next week and I told her not to worry. We said goodbye again, and as we walked in the elevator, meeting Carlisle, Alice beamed that Anna would meet the rest of the family next week, and invite them too, and what everyone should buy as gift. I rolled my eyes and squeezed Edward's hand.

"You're going to spoil Anna, aren't you?" I asked.

"Well, the other human we want to spoil don't let us" he said giving me a pointed look, "So, yeah. She'll be spoiled"

"Good, she deserves"

"You love her" Jasper said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah" I said shrugging.

"I think I do too" Edward admitted.

"Oh, this little girl is better than you, Bella" Carlisle said, "She got a family of vampire wrapped around her little finger faster than you did" he said chuckling and we joined him.

"Laugh now, Carlisle. Wait until your wife meets her. I have the feeling your bank account will make you regret" I said.

"Oh, no!" he said in mock horror.


	5. Chapter 5

The next weeks passed by fast. Everyone in the Cullen family was helping, all of them came with me to chemo. Anna loved everyone, especially Rosalie. Rose loved her too, a lot. We all went to her birthday, and I've never seen her so happy. She and her friends tore the wrapping paper, and squealed with every present. Heather didn't stop thanking us, and in the end of the party we helped her put everything in Anna's room, and the girl almost didn't have space to sleep anymore. The presents didn't stop though. Every time I saw Anna, Esme, Alice or Rose sends something. Candy, doll's clothes, clothes, games, jewelry… That just made Anna love us more.

Charlie visited me every day for the first three weeks. I was able to convince him I would be fine, and nothing would change in a day, so he was coming every two days now. I told my mom, and she wanted to come, but I told her it was fine, and there wasn't anything she could do here. She stayed in Florida after making me promise I would call if anything happened, anything. Dad told Billy, and apparently Jake asked if he could come visit me. Dad told he could and he said he would visit me in a few days. It's been three weeks. We all thought Billy didn't let him, since I was with the Cullen.

In school things continued the same. A few people asked Edward and Alice what happened to me, they said I had a few things to take care, and that was it. Angela called frequently and after three weeks, I told her. She cried, and it made me regret telling her. I didn't want her to cry. She promised she wouldn't tell anyone, and would visit.

I was getting better, and Carlisle thought it was because I wasn't having so much stress anymore. He was right. I hadn't anything to stress about. Everyone that should know, knew. I hadn't a secret anymore. Charlie was fine, Alice went to the house, cleaned and cooked for him, and I told him it was me. And above all things, I knew I wouldn't die. Not definitely.

"So, I'll be able to go back to school?" I asked as Edward and I talked to Carlisle after chemo.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about it" Carlisle said, "If you stay like this, you can go back in a week or two"

"It's dangerous, isn't it?" Edward asked.

"As everything, she has to be careful, but she's healthy enough to it" Carlisle said.

"Great!" I said.

I spent the rest of the week trying to convince Edward. He didn't want me to go. He thought it was dangerous, and I could get sick… After almost a week of pouts, talks, and the family trying to get the idea inside his thick skull, I was going back to school. But I had to be extremely careful, Edward said.

I never loved school, I didn't hate it either, but right now, it seemed heaven. Better than stay home all day. Doing nothing. I was almost bouncing in my seat as Edward drove to school. I didn't care about the hair anymore, as eager as I was. He stopped in his usual spot, and turned off the engine.

"See you in class" Alice said before getting out.

"You'll be careful" Edward said.

"Yes, Edward. For the hundredth time, I'll be careful" I said rolling my eyes.

"And if anything comes up, you'll get me" he said.

"Yes"

"And you'll be okay?"

"Yes, Edward. Thank you, for worrying, but it's not necessary. I'll be okay" I said smiling to him.

"Okay" he sighed.

He got out, and walked around the car to open the door for me. After a moment of hesitation he opened my door, took my bag and my hand. He put an arm around me as we walked inside, everyone staring. I had my hood on, but I knew they still could notice I changed. I talked to the principal and had to explain the situation to him. He said he was terribly sorry, and if I needed anything, not hesitate in ask. Edward thanked him, and we went to my locker.

"Bella!"

I turned to see Mike and Eric jogging to us.

"Hey, guys" I said smiling.

"What happened?" Eric asked, "You disappeared!"

"I was sick"

"What happened?" Mike asked worried.

"Ahn, I… I have leukemia" I said.

They stared at me, like I had told them a lie, and then their eyes scanned my whole body, ending in the head. I pulled the hood down, and they stared at me. Edward's hand tightened around mine. I blushed and turned to my locker.

"God, Bella" Mike mumbled, "I'm sorry. So sorry"

"It's okay, Mike. Thanks" I said taking my books.

"There's anything we can do?" Eric asked.

"No, there's nothing to worry. I'm getting better" I said.

"If you need anything…" Mike said rubbing my arm.

"Thanks, guys"

Edward took me to our class right after that. I wasn't wearing the hood, so everyone stared. I looked down and took my seat.

"What happened?" a girl that sat next to me asked staring at my head.

I just shrugged. It's not like they wouldn't know by the end of the day, but if I could I would delay it.

I was right. By the end of the day, the whole school knew. I'm guessing Jessica told Lauren who spread the story. I don't care, but Edward got a little mad. I was happy I was back and that's what mattered.

The next month went better. School got used to me after a week or so, and I could almost have a normal life. Edward was all the time with me, worrying, and it pissed me off. By the end of the month, I was tired of waiting. I got up from bed on Saturday, and got dressed. I reached the living room and everyone was there, waiting for me.

"Hey, guys. Good morning" I said putting my coat.

"Good morning" Esme said.

"Ahn, are you going somewhere?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, I'm going to visit Jake. My dad is in his house today too" I said.

"The reservation?" Edward asked.

"Yeah"

"Bella, no" he said walking to me.

I stared at him as he took my keys from me.

"Why?" I asked slowly.

"Because we can't go there" he said.

"It's okay. It won't take long. I'll be back at lunch" I said reaching for the keys that he took out of my reach.

"What if something happens? No, Bella. You can't go there"

"Edward, I'm going" I said sternly. "I'm fine, there is no need to have a babysitter all the time"

He sighed and shook his head.

"Carlisle?" I asked.

"Ahn, Edward, let her go. She's fine" Carlisle said, "Just be quick, please, Bella"

"Sure" I said, "I'm just tired of waiting for them to come here"

"Tell them they are welcome here" Esme said.

"Okay" I said and extended my hand to my keys, "Edward, give me my keys"

"Bella, please, don't do this"

"I'm going, Edward" I said sternly, "I can walk there, or you can give me my keys, and I'll drive"

He stared at me for a minute, until he sighed and dropped the keys on my hand. I gave him a peck and walked out.

"Be careful" he said following me.

"Okay" I said.

"And quick"

"Sure"

"And don't do anything reckless"

"I know, Edward" I said getting in my pickup.

I waved at him, and drove to La Push. I stopped in front of Billy's house, and saw my dad's car there too. I smiled got out, and walked to the door. I knocked and Jake answered after a minute. He grinned and took me in a bone crushing hug. He never hesitated. Never stopped to stare at me.

"Bella! Finally!" he said putting me down. "How are you?" he asked casually.

"Good, you?"

"Great"

"Why didn't you go visit me?" I asked.

"Ahn, Billy thought it was a bad idea" he said guiltily.

I sighed and walked to the living room. My dad and Billy were there with Harry.

"Bella!" dad exclaimed getting up.

"Hey, guys. I decided to surprise you" I said as my dad hugged me.

"How are you, Bella?" Harry asked with worried eyes.

"Good. Great actually, I'm going to school for a month"

"And… the Cullens?" Billy asked.

"They are great. Worry too much, but great" I said.

"Are you sure it's a good idea stay there with them, Bella?" Harry asked.

"Absolutely" I answered smiling.

"Ahn, we were going fishing…" Charlie said guiltily.

"You can go. I can stay with Jake, right?"

"Wonderful" Jake said.

They left, and a few of Jake's friends came. I was surprised to see how happy goofs they were. They were like Jake. Never worrying too much, never staring or giving me pity eyes. I loved them. We played Guitar Hero, until my phone rang. I answered while trying to beat Embry.

"Hello?"

"Bella, where are you!" Alice asked.

"Oh, Alice! Shit! I forgot the time" I said pausing the game. "I'm coming back now. Don't worry, everything is okay"

"Okay. Just hurry. Edward is going nuts here"

I hung up and said goodbye to the guys. Jake walked me to my pickup.

"Hey, you have to go visit me" I said.

"Okay. Ahn, next Saturday?" he asked.

"Perfect!" I said and he hugged me.

"I'm happy to see you, Bella"

"Me too, Jake"

I drove to the Cullens', singing happily with the radio. Of course, when I passed through the door, Edward was in front of me.

"Hi" I said sheepishly.

"You said you would hurry" he said pulling me closer.

"Sorry, I lost track of time" I said.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Perfect"

He kissed me softly and we went to the kitchen. Esme had prepared lunch.

"How was your visit?" she asked sitting in another chair.

"Great. Dad was there but left with Billy and Harry, went fishing. I stayed with Jake, and his friend came. We played Guitar Hero" I said.

"I'm glad you had fun, sweetie" Esme said.

"Yes, they are great. They don't stare, or give me pity looks. I love them already" I said and gulped my juice, "Ahn, can Jake come here Saturday? I told him it was okay…"

"Of course!" Esme said.

Edward was silent the whole time, and when I looked at him, he was concentrated, looking at our hands.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Jake started coming frequently. I noticed Edward didn't like him much, but never asked him about it. The other Cullens were nice to Jake, and Jake was polite, though always hesitant. I though I was going crazy, I could see Jake growing in front of me. He grew fast, and started getting bulky. I teased him about it, asking if he was trying to impress some chick. He just said he was filling out. It was almost three months after I started seeing him again, when he simply disappeared. He didn't come visit, he didn't answer my calls. Billy said he was out, or sleeping when I talked to him. I was worrying. For three weeks I tried to contact him, but nothing.

"Don't worry, Bella. I'm sure everything is fine" Edward assured me as he drove to school.

"It's not. I can feel it" I mumbled.

He parked in school, Alice opened the door, and stopped. Literally, they froze. I looked at them and they were looking worriedly at each other through the mirror.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Stay in the car" Edward said as he got out.

"Bella, no" Alice said.

I ignored her and got out. Edward stopped and turned to me and looked back at somewhere in the parking lot. I tried to see what he was looking, and after a moment, I found what was different. Jake was here. I grinned and walked past Edward to him. Edward quickly walked beside me, holding my hand, but stopped me a few feet away from Jake.

"Jake! Finally! Why you disappeared?" I asked smiling at him.

He continued to glare at Edward. I watched him carefully. He seemed older, somehow. Different. He had cut his hair short, and it was kind of weird to see him without his usual ponytail.

"I came here to give you a message" Jake said to Edward.

"Message received" Edward said, "You should go now"

"Jake? Why are you here?" I asked trying to understand.

"I guess a red-haired friend of his is in the area, killing hikers" Jake said.

I stared at him in shock. I understood he meant Victoria, but… How did he know! I gasped and turned to Edward.

"He knows" I whispered.

"A lot more than you, Bells" Jake said.

I turned at him surprised. I had whispered, he shouldn't have heard.

"You need to leave now" Edward said forcefully.

"No" I said and stepped closer to Jake.

Edward's hand didn't let me go any closer. I looked between them, trying to understand why Edward didn't let me go. There was no visible answer, so I turned to Jake.

"Can I visit you? Or you visit me? I miss you"

He looked at me guiltily and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I can't visit you. Not when you're with leeches" I grimaced at his words, "But you should go to the reservation. I have a lot to tell you"

"Okay" I said eagerly and the bell rang, "Ahn, can I call you?"

"Of course"

"Answer the phone then" I said.

Alice walked to us with my backpack and gave it to Edward. They exchanged a glance and she walked to class.

"Let's go, Bella" Edward said.

I pulled away from his hand, and hugged Jake. He was warm. Like he was burning in fever. But it was comfortable too.

"Careful, Bella" Jake whispered in my ear.

We pulled away and he glanced at Edward. I understood the message. He knew what Edward was, and wanted me to be careful. I looked around at the other students watching us. I couldn't ask him anything about it. He kissed my cheek and left in his bike. I watched him go, until Edward took my hand and dragged me to class.


	6. WARNING, PLEASE READ

**AS MUCH AS I LOVE WRITING STORIES, IT IS A BIT STRESSFUL AND TIME-CONSUMING.**

**I HAVE RECEIVED A LOT OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT SOME STORIES – THE WRITING, THE PLOT, THE CHARACTERS – AND I KNOW IT'S ANNOYING THAT I START A LOT OF STORIES AND DON'T FINISH THEM. **

**I THINKG THAT NEXT YEAR, MY FREE TIME WILL BE SHORTENED, SO I WON'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO DO THIS ANYMORE. BUT IF I DO, I'LL KEEP WRITING AS MUCH AS I CAN. **

**BUT FOR NOW, I'M GONNA TAKE OFF SOME STORIES THAT ARE BOTHERING ME AND SOME READERS. _SHINING SUN_ AND _SUNSPOT_ ARE PROBABLY GOING TO BE TAKEN OFF, SINCE THOSE ARE THE ONES THAT BOTHER ME THE MOST AND I'M NOT PLANNING ON REWRITTING THEM NOW. **

**I'VE CREATED A POLL SO YOU ALL CAN VOTE ON WHICH STORIES SHOULD GO. **

**THE POLL WILL BE OPEN FOR A MONTH, BY DECEMBER 16TH FIVE STORIES WILL BE TAKEN OFF THE SITE. **

**PLEASE, VOTE TO HELP ME DECIDE :S**

**THANK YOU, **

**Luuh**


	7. BURNING DIAMONDS AWARDS - READ AND VOTE

**Hello my dear readers!**

First of all, I want to thank you all for the dedication, for coming back to read and reviewing... you've helped me write all my stories.

_*clears throat*_ Let me prepare my speech...

I'm so happy to announce that for the first time I was nominated for an award in the fanfiction world! \o/

**THE BURNING DIAMOND AWARDS**

Yesterday, it was announced I was nominated for **BEST STEFAN! **

_**Bella's Diary**_ definitely is my favorite, most dear, loved fic I've wrote. I admit I'm a bit biased but I do agree my Stefan is the best :P just kidding.

In the category, I'm running against emeraldphoenix23 (Buried Secrets 2: Blood), LoveToday15 (Queen of Kings), Mickibelle (The Natural In Supernatural), MysticEyesx (Dark Awakenings) and fanpire95 (The Reunion). All are amazing authors, I had already read most of those stories, I'm definitely going to check out the rest. You can also vote for Best Drama, Best Suspense, Best Kiss, Best Love Scene, Romance, Villain, Friendship, Bella, Damon, Elena, Suporting Character, Family Dynamic, Dynamic, Plot Twist, Slash, Series, Unsuspected/Unique Pairing, Overall Favorite Story and Author and Break-Through Author.

I can even express how thankful I am for my Stefan's nomination. No, I don't want to be dramatic, I just really don't know what to say. Stefan was the character that came most naturally, I didn't have to work much on him. He is perfect, I like to think I just highlighted that perfection :P

So, please, **VOTE!**

link:

crossoverawards . blogspot . com

Thank you all.

I promise an update will come soon.

xoxo Luuh

**VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!**


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